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Why I admire women with vaginismus who come for infertility treatment

Posted Mar 19 2011 1:04am
Vaginismus is a surprisingly common sexual disorder which causes a lot of distress and low self esteem. Women with vaginismus feel inadequate and incompetent; and they cannot share their diagnosis or problem with anyone. They feel like freaks - and feel guilty that they cannot give their husband sexual pleasure.

Not only does this put a lot of stress on the marriage, the desire to have a baby can often be the last straw which breaks the camel's back ! While the urge to complete the family maybe very strong, they are petrified about the fact that they may need to seek medical attention to achieve this goal. For a woman with vaginismus, even the idea of going to a doctor can cause sleepless nights.

The fact that many gynecologists are clueless about this condition can just end up making a bad situation even worse. They will often pooh-pooh the woman's concerns; or force her to subject herself to a painful , humiliating and degrading exam which makes her feel that she was raped and puts her off going to all doctors for ever ! Many unsympathetic doctors will actually blame the woman for her problem - or advise surgery ( an obsolete operation called a Fenton's) to fix a problem which was never mechanical in the first place !

It needs lots of courage for these women to go to a doctor - and while they can be challenging to manage and need a lot of time, energy and empathy, I take my hats off to these brave women who are willing to put themselves through so much in order to have a baby !

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