Today another woman in Christchurch has been murdered in a domestic violence situation. last week another husband murdered his wife and had killed another woman Tisha Lowry and buried her and his wife under his house for nearly a year. These last two cases won't get as much air time as Sophie or another campaigner who was married to a celebrity and beaten. We hardly ever hear of the average 14 Women a year who are murdered by their partners or ex partners. However it is great they are highlighting Domestic Violence hits all of us regardless of Social Status.
What is needed is a law change. Many women who end up going to court against their abusers have all their past, including if they have suffered from violence before thrown up against them in court. They are seen as weak and somehow to blame for being victimised, sometimes multiple times. The perpetrators have their pasts concealed including criminal convictions, yet women who suffer repeated abuse are re abused by the system.
Society does an appalling job at supporting those who suffer Domestic Violence, they judge, minimise, blame and are generally non supportive. Especially if the Violence with which the woman is living with is psychological Violence. There may be no physical scars, yet the words and menacing actions stay with her for life...and her children's.
Who am I? Im an average Joe Blogs with no celebrity status, who was married to a Doctor who was abusive for seven years. Years of court cases and time has allowed change to happen in my relationship with my ex. But that has not always been the case.
The next time your hear from a friend, sister, aunty, mother, that they are suffering from any kind of abuse never say
Work through it! What are you doing wrong! You must have deserved it! Just leave! Well your tolerating it! Oh, I put up with more in my day! Be a better wife/girlfriend! Get over it! You sure pick them! What! Another one? Give him more sex then! Oh its just words By saying these things you may have just signed her death sentence, or enabled him and blamed her for his behaviour, do you think she will leave when her family and friends have blamed her for his behaviour?