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When the chips are down...

Posted Aug 08 2011 12:00am

One of my difficulties when things healthwise goes wrong that I sometimes forget t update my blog.  I'd be sad to think of anyone worrying unnecessarily about me.  I tried via my mobile but then the post was too long to compose.
My perfect venflon position!
The situation at the moment is that I am fighting and being treated for rejection.  At this stage all I can do is sit and wait in isolation until I recover.  Its aggressive form of treatment and would usually take a couple weeks in most patients for the in hospital treatment. With me its a different ball game and it will just be as long as it takes for my body to hopefully respond.
Some people would think that being in isolation would drive me bonkers but actually is something I have been well versed to my entire life especially when having bone marrow transplant as a little 4 year old.  I couldn't understand why I could only see my family through a glass window.  I remember feeling the warm tears roll from my eye onto my cheek and falling on the pillow.  Possibly one of the most painful and distressing moments I can recall.  Seems odd considering all the painful medical intervention I have endured over the years. Just goes to show how damaging and re coursing emotional pain can be really.
So here I am the eve of my 31at celebrating my 3 rd birthday ever in hospital. Not bad going really. Only thing that ain't so great is being in isolation but have been told 2-3 totally bug and snot free friends can pop over so that's nice :-)  It was sad to cancel all my birthday and most likely my transplant anniversary events but its just the way things are.  Luckily many good friends kindly received my delegation requests and cancelled the actual events for me so at least it wasn't so traumatic cancelling my eyelash extensions appointment!
I was super happy to receive a packet full of birthday cards from Thomas Cook girlies and also a lovely gift from amazing Tori so I have popped it all the side of my room for a touch of excitement tomorrow! :-)
Also I got a lovely photoslide emailed to me from my cousin who has just come back from Fiji which was lovely to see and share with my mum this afternoon.  I've had nice birthday well wishes via email and text which has been nice too.  
Being highly oxygen dependent since admission does concern me but for now I think the blood gases, walk test with terrible desaturation and sats probe test at rest with no o2 indicate its still much needed.  So there we may not hear from me on here that often and if so maybe just snippet blogs.  By now I should have had my flip camera which would have been an excellent way to keep in touch.  These drugs can really shake you up and make you feel pretty moody and moany.  I've surprisingly experienced elation and joy so far, which though odd is typically me eh?
I may have some visitors up soon once out of isolation so that might be sooner than I think.    Remembering the labours of 24 oxygen is flooding back for sure. Dry bleeding nose, being yanked by tubing, keeping tubing out of others way, keeping it on my face and in position overnight!  Its been fine. I can't grumble everyone has been so so supportive all around the world.  I can't thank you all enough for your well wishes and love.

Feel free to leave me messages here.  I'd be sure to read them and get back to you!  Now the pre birthday girl must prepare for her big day tomorrow with some pre birthday sleep!
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