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The Unknown .....

Posted Dec 21 2009 4:13pm
Curve balls are what life is all about. Enjoying each day is a MUST and MS or any other ailment or pain really does not have to rob us of our sanity, our happiness, our meaning and our fun. I feel like the past couple of years have been filled with nothing but curve balls as they relate to health issues. I'm dealing with them the way I dealt with my Drill Sgt. back in Basic Training -- let 'em roll off my back and get back up to go through the next day.

I had a CT scan of my lungs this past Friday on the 18th of December. I received a call yesterday from a doctor at the VA (my Primary Care doc is out) and he mentioned that they found a 1 cm spot on the upper lobe of my left lung. I got to see the CT scan when they did it and the only thing that showed were some small lymph nodes (about 5-6 of them). They did not use any contrast because the X-ray tech told me that is not the way they normally do lung CT's. Whatever ....

Ok, so now I am stuck in an unknown before the holidays.

The pros:

  • - it's a small spot (lesion) - 1 cm
  • - it's solitary
  • - could be scar tissue???

The cons:

  • - could be sarcoid??
  • - could be cancerous??
  • - need to get the work-up and wait for those results
  • - it's the holiday season
  • - I feel like I have a chest cold
I have to tell my Mom and family ... but it is an odd time. It's at a time when we are mourning the loss of my Dad (CP1BH/W3) who passed away in May 09. It's our first Christmas without him. Tough times.

CC's is understandably a little bit scared and I guess I am not a big fan of the unknown. This is where faith comes in in a BIG way and you just look for a miracle. I believe in miracles and a day after that phone call we are making game plans on how we will treat any outcome as a couple. We have a plan and will follow it.

Miracles happen every day ... looking for one now. I want to enjoy the holidays and look forward to a great time in Las Vegas. A vacation ... something I haven't done in quite a while.

On the advice of the doctor who called me, I will be talking to my Primary Care doc and see what the next step is. My question too: why the elevated ACE and my elevated liver enzymes? I have to get that bloodwork back on track and just live life normally. Let things get back on track ... or guide me in the way to handle them.

I won't be beaten ... nope. Today I got my left-hand nails put back on (took them off before surgery) and am going to get back to my Flamenco guitar playing and lessons in a big way. Music speaks to the soul, warms it and heals it. I have the prayer train going and am on it myself. I offer up the uncertainty and the unknown. I'll take things step-by-step and deal with them one moment at a time knowing that all will work out the way it is divinely planned.

I am at peace ...
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