It really saddens me that the past couple of days I have a seriously bad pain in both lower arms. Its restricted my ability to do everything I need to do. Its likely down to the high steroids I am on at the moment to fight the rejection, wrecking my bones at the same time.
I have needed to take more rest breaks and prioritise tasks. Hmm...not my strong point. I can't help but type though and in a way I feel I need to exercise my arms to some extent.
A bit of googling this morning led me to find a suggested work planner called 'TeuxDeux'. It comes as an iPhone app too and the premise is I can list all my 'to do's' and move things over across the calendar. It will sync together and pop outstanding tasks over to the next day! Sounds ace to me!
Mum's already concerned that perhaps I need to slow down even more than I have. I think she has a point! I have endless lists and I have to revert to spoon theory. I even left myself a spare spoon yesterday and was quite proud of myself. Small steps I think...
The sun is bursting through my net curtain. So glorious. It reminds me of how much warmth is around me, protecting me and willing me on to get better. There's a lot of exciting plans I have and want to share with others. I really need a holiday soon! I had a flick through an old brochure from the shop last night and came up with some ideas. One of my dearest friends has just purchased a caravan and has offered it to me to take anywhere I want, anytime! She's absolute gold! I may just take her up on it when loads better.
There's news that another very dear friend's little baby boy is making good progress after being born prematurely and battling for his life. The challenges continue as I type but I know that he is so truly loved and he's fighting all the way. I cannot wait to meet him. Another friend who I used to work with just had a little girl and my cousin a baby boy this week. So all the babies are springing up and card and pressie making was in full swing, until my arms started playing up. Its so lovely to be a summer baby-I should know!
Mum's help has been tremendous especially with this sudden arm ache nonsense going on. Even the simplest thing like turning on the tap is agony. Mum has had to cut up my food and help me carry bits and bobs around the apartment.
This non-sleep episode I'm experiencing is starting to wear thin. So today, I came up with a plan. To tire myself out completely so I have no choice but to 'give in to the sleep'. Did it work? Err...nope! I had a really nice long soak bath and used a special treatment on my hair (although this really really hurt my arms). I felt sleepy and so decided to meditate whilst the deep conditioner got to work. Then my mum kindly blow dried and styled my hair with the added touch of an Indian head massage. Dressing gown on and slippers you'd think I'd just wanna crash out afterwards. Grrr! I've tried acknowledging it. I've tried ignoring it. But I am seeing the effects of poor sleep whilst on this treatment programme for rejection and it doesn't bode well at all. How can my body heal and restore if it doesn't take a break? I've had to have the recommended oxygen therapy today as I am so exhausted and I can tell my sats are low. I'm ok and loads better than yesterday pain wise but its annoying.
Ha, for someone who's arms are so painful I reckon I'm doing well to type (this has taken the best part of the day mind!). I'm just too determined and driven sometimes to my own detriment. I've stuck a couple of warm flannels on just now so I can still type!! Hope there's no water dripping on the keyboard. Not a clever move!
Well, I think its high time I did give my arms a break and sit back to watch some catch up TV. The UK riots that hit my town, changes at work, my nan passed away 1 year ago, my birthday, my transplant anniversary, being 300miles away from home poorly and isolated...its been a very manic and crazy two weeks. I'm exhausted just typing the list. Its no wonder I feel a bit out of sorts and disorientated.
I am looking forward to this week mainly because I hope to see an improvement in my symptoms and also because its a free week. No agenda, plans or appointments. I will just let the time flow and what will be, will be. I have to conquer this. I need my life back. I miss work. I miss living. What is great is having plans, goal setting, having something to look forward to. There are some major voucher experience companies that have done well out of me this year. There's always a daily bargain and I've found it hard to resist clicking away. Thing is there's stuff I've forgotten I've purchased and then the expiry date passes. A little time this week to organise and book some self treats is on the cards I think!