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Science – no laughing matter?

Posted Apr 29 2013 10:05am

Many thanks to all our Twitter followers who indulged us on Friday and sent in their best science-related jokes. Having laughed (and groaned) our way through the entries, we’ve now picked our favourites.

The winners will be notified on Twitter, and will each receive a tin of luxury biscuits from Fortnum & Mason – biscuits so quintessentially British that the tins play God Save the Queen…

So here’s the pick of the crop in order of popularity, as determined by the scientifically rigorous application of number of re-tweets and favourites.

Thanks again to you all!

@ f1000 Why was the x axis paranoid? Because everyone kept plotting against it!

— Paul Coxon (@paulcoxon) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 My favourite is “I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. I was like OMg.”

— Hannah Hope (@hjhope) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 I was going to make a transcription joke in honour of DNA Day but I don’t think there RNA. (credit to @ hullodave )

— Daniel Levy (@ImDanLevy) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 how many scientists does it take to change a lightbulb? As many as it takes, as long as they’re on the paper.

— Benoit Bruneau (@benoitbruneau) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 How do you shock a food scientist?Give her an electric currant.

— John Preece (@jcpreece) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 At the NIH*, a sign on the door of the microbiology lab reads “STAPH ONLY.” *If there isn’t, there should be.

— Adie Chan (@AdieChan1) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 A helium atom walks into a bar. “We don’t serve nobility,” says the barman.Helium doesn’t react.

— Jonathan Dart (@jdartfco) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 A proton walks into a bar. “We don’t serve electrons,” says the barman. “I’m not an electron,” he says.”Are you sure?” asks the barman…

— Jonathan Dart (@jdartfco) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 “I’m positive,” says the proton.

— Jonathan Dart (@jdartfco) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 Q: How do you differentiate bet’n male chromosome & female chromosome? A: Pull down their jeans :D

— iSh™ ©(@iShzz) April 26, 2013

MT @ ishzz @ f1000 I wish I were DNA Helicase so that I could unzip your genes ;)

— F1000Prime (@F1000) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 A biochemist walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a pint of adenosine triphosphate, please”. Barman replies, “That’ll be 80p”.

— Iain Hz (@iainh_z) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 a bear from the us and a bear from canada jump in the water … which dissolves 1st? The bear from canada, cuz its polar

— Casey Ydenberg (@CAYdenberg) April 26, 2013

@ f1000 Q: why did fungi & algae decided to get married? A: They started to lichen each other. #biology

— JawKnockRaazaa (@Jaw_Knock) April 26, 2013

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