When I am asked to describe my daily pain, I draw breath as I contemplate where to start. I usually begin with the most adverse and then maybe mention the lesser pains that are problematic but somewhat currently manageable. Today I anticipated a discussion on alternative therapies which, I am open to but I also need something more assured and consistent in the interim. Pain control is imperative to conduct daily tasks and for general well being. If you feel constant pain it affects mood and energy. I know some of my pain is attributed to muscular damage which will not repair or get better so its a question of: how do I manage this best?
Some of you may already know that I do practice tai chi and I meditate daily. Both I find very useful for dealing with pain and channeling my thoughts generally. But I need something more.
The most effective thing so far has been pain patches. However, these serve to mask the pain for a set time and then after I am left to struggle. Do I choose to wear them in the daytime or overnight? So after speaking with the Dr we decided to consider the use of a topical cream alternated with the pain patches. This will be discussed with the transplant team before I start using it but at least its another approach to the pain problem.
I don't talk much about pain because it serves no purpose in my eyes. There's nothing that the listener or I can do about it so it just creates a negative energy that cannot be diffused easily. I could strongly insist on grading up my pain relief to a point where I become so addicted and then tolerant that when I am one day going to be in need of palliative care then I've exhausted almost everything. Trust me, I've been on some serious cocktails of pain relief and they can do the job alright. But its a cost/benefit analysis. I want to fully embrace my life and be alert (as much as possible) during daylight hours. That will not be possible if I am as high as a kite, zombified or asleep all day due to the side effects.
So that was my day really. In the waiting rooms mum and I wasted no time in utilising it by getting out our knitting and sewing and had a good old natter about current affairs! Over the years we've learned there is no point making a somewhat negative situation more negative. The time waiting is almost like a gift. I don't have to anything or I can sit and do something that I usually find difficult to make time for. I practiced my french knots and got in a tizzle with it so looked up a tute (tutorial for those not in the know! lol!) on my iPhone and away I went. End result? A cute little daisy and the hope that this new cream (if approved) will work wonder for some of my daily pain.
This will soon find itself on some of my new projects that I will be selling from my folksy shop later this month :-)