The lady from the UK Passport office rang me today to tell me that there was a problem with my application to change my name.
Really? What’s wrong?
She told me, in the condescending tones of a a civil servant who knows just how idiotic the general public are that I had signed my new application in my old name. She implied a silliness in this action, that was completely absent, and therefore got my back up straight away.
Me: “No, said I - I’ve signed my signature. “
Her: “But its the same as the old one. “
Me: “That is correct. “
Her: “But it isn’t allowed. It doesn’t match your new name. “
Me: “So? If my signature was a meaningless scribble it could say anything and you’d be none the wiser.”
Her: “But it isn’t. We know it says your old name, and that’s not good enough.”
Me: “So, you’re telling me I have to make up a signature just for my passport?”
Her: “Oh no - you have to change your signature for everything. “
Me: “Why? Where does it say that?”
Her: “I can’t really be getting into discussion about this - I’m just telling you the rules”.
Funny that…. “OK,” says I, “Where do we go from here?”
Her: “We’ll send you a new form which you’ll have to sign properly. “
Me: “And I’m going to have to pay for this again am I?”
Her :”Oh no, you won’t need to pay again, you’ll just need to sign it again. “
Me: “I see. Well I’ll wait for you to write to me then. “
Her “OK, I’ll let Mrs suchandsuch know and she’ll send you a new form. “
Me: “Fine. Goodbye.”
This, my friends, is the thin end of the wedge.
I’m not giving up without a good fight. When did readable signatures become law? This is preposterous!
I shall wait until I get my new form and letter and complain to someone higher. What utter rubbish.