This time last week I was in a real bad way. I was really struggling to breathe and I was inches away from going to my local A and E. I decided that staying relaxed at home would be the best course of action but it was so difficult.
I have been reflecting on the past year and I am really pleased about the things I have been lucky to do and achieve. The only thing lately is that I have been neglecting my body and the signs of wear and tear are showing.
My hair is extremely lack lustre, thin and damaged. I know this is mainly down to long term illness and chemotherapy but it is starting to get me down as I don't know how best to manage it. My skin is getting very dry and there is some pigmentation loss. Thankfully I have an appointment soon with the camoflague nurse who may be able to help me with that alongside my scars on my neck and body.
I am starting to struggle with my weight again just as I had it a bit under control. I think that the problems I have in my pelvic area is really not helping, especially with my water retention and distention around my abdomen area. It may sound like I am just moaning like many about my weight, but for me, it is essential that I monitor my weight closely. Having heart failure means that the clock is ticking, as much as I would like to think otherwise, thats the reality. I am not setting out to speed that clock up in anyway so I must be proactive and do what I can to help keep things under control. The waterfall diet is helping me not to gain weight I think but not much in the way of losing any. To be honest, I haven't been strict with my exercise regime the past week or so. I know that makes a big difference to how I feel, even if not for anything else.
I do try and lift thngs sometimes when I could wait for help, walk too far and do too much in one day. I must plan my weeks like before and ensure rest days and naps.
Going back to work part time has been so rewarding for me and I hope to continue. I have great support from family and friends and I am so looked after, I couldn't ask for anything more.
This morning I was meant to try out a new meditation approach from a little kit mum and I spotted when shopping. I haven't made much effort to leave my duvet yet so I am not sure when, but I will give it a go and see if there are any benefits.
The pain I experience has increased a lot this week with sharp pains in my back which then extended across my left shoulder blade. I have also had sharp, aggressive pains in my lower abdomen. My pain relief makes no difference and I have been terribly agitated and moany all week.
One thing I am really working on is cutting down my intake of carbonated drinks. It has become worse in the past 10 years and I think it doesn't help some of my symptoms. For me, its a treat and as I don't eat sweets or chocolate, I can't see the harm. But I know there is, especially as I love full fat coke!! So, I am getting into the 'just water' range of drinks whuch helps my sugar craving plus its much healthier and cleansing for my bod! I drink fresh lemon daily anyway so its nothing new but I am going to try and use it as a substitute for coke?!! I may even make my own for when I'm out and about to save a few pennies!