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Missed periods , infertility and mind games

Posted Sep 24 2010 2:42am 1 Comment

Missing a period is difficult for all women. Regular cycles suggest that the body is working properly and that the hormones are in sync. A missed period creates a lot of anxiety for fertile women as well , but it's much more difficult for infertile women ! Every time you miss a period, you hope ( against hope) that maybe you are finally pregnant ! However , you are worried about getting your hopes up too high, because you are scared that they will come dashing down again - after all, false hope can be very cruel !

Most women know there are are many reasons for missing a period, including stress ; side effects of medications you are taking; and a systemic illness.

Even after many years, however, the first thought hope is - maybe I am pregnant ! At last ! ( Maybe the holiday in Goa did the trick ? Or was it the trip to Shirdi ?)

And then the worries start !

Is this really a pregnancy ?

You scrutinise your past cycle ; look for patterns; and try to remember when you last had sex.
( Was it during the "fertile time " ? ) Each hour takes as long as a day to pass. Should I do a pregnancy test ? When ? Is today a good day ? Should I wait till tomorrow ?

You obsess over every symptom. My breasts never feel so full and tender normally, do they ? I wonder why I need to go to the bathroom again and again ? Maybe I am finally pregnant ! You google " early symptoms of pregnancy" every 5 min to try to make sense of what's happening to you.

You buy lots of pregnancy test kits - and even if the result is negative, you always hope that this was a false negative. Maybe I didn't do the test right ? Maybe the kit is old ? unreliable ? Maybe I should get one of the newer digital kits ? Is that a faint blue ? Am I imagining things ?

And if and when the period does start , you scrutinise the flow very carefully. Is there tissue in
it ? Was that a baby ? Is the flow dark ? heavy ? with clots ? Does it look different from my regular flow ? Does this mean I was pregnant and I miscarried ?

This line of thought just adds to your guilt ! Oh, God - did I do something wrong to cause the miscarriage ? Ate something hot ? cold ? Went to the gym ? Worked out too hard ? Fought with my husband ?

How do you find the answers to your doubts ? Who do I ask ? Who should I compare notes with ?
You are very reluctant to ask the doctor , because you don't want to look like a fool ! And your husband can get quite fed up of your obsessing over every minor ache and twinge and spot of blood.

My only advise is - Be kind to yourself. It's a difficult situation to be in, so please understand this and don't beat up on yourself. This just makes a bad situation worse !
Comments (1)
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Whenever a woman thinks that she might be pregnant, the earliest possible sign of pregnancy that comes in her mind is missed periods. However you will be surprised to know that missed period does not come in the first 5 earliest possible signs of pregnancy. Do you know what that means? This means that it is possible to detect pregnancy even before the missed periods with the help of below mentioned 5 earliest possible signs of pregnancy.

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