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Miraculous Turnaround

Posted Nov 04 2009 10:03pm
I'm the healthiest I've ever been in my life. No, seriously.

I got off the Paxil in December. I realized I was running out, said fuckit and put myself off of it. It was hard. It was unpleasant. It put me through a rough dark patch. But I came out of it alive. And stronger. And with more energy. Enough energy that I'm not missing some form of work every week like I was last year. It feels amazing. I honestly think that a lot of my POTS flares were due to the Paxil wearing me out. Oh, the POTS is still there. But Paxil made it so much worse.

This semester so far I have only missed one day of work due to POTS. I missed another day because of a monster cold. That's it. I've been able to come in everyday, which is a major improvement. Due to some political work issues, my job performance hasn't been the best, but the air has been cleared in that realm as well and things will hopefully be looking up in the one month I have left.

Speaking of which, I will be graduating in exactly one month from tomorrow. I've been accepted to three graduate programs. I'm in the process of deciding between the two of them and this is going to be the most difficult decision I've ever had to make in my life.

I also celebrated my two year seizure free anniversary last month. I couldn't be happier in that department.

I still get POTS symptoms. Cyanosis is such an attractive feature, as are molted legs. I don't do well standing in lines and have been known to pop a squat in public places (like a train station or an airport). I still faithfully wear my tights and won't leave the house without them. I still take my Atenolol. I still startle like a PTSD vet. My heart still struggles sometimes.

But overall, my quality of life has improved dramatically. I honestly don't know how I functioned all those years.
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