I haven'tupdated in quite a while about my health. maybe I don't want to bore people or maybe Im just so over the whole thing and daily management is becoming more like second nature.
From the last time I was in Hospital a few weeks back the day after I was discharged I took in a urine sample to see if the treatment had worked. Even though I had left the Hospital with a temperature and tachycardia, I hoped it would resolve after the last intravenous antibiotics. I didn't follow up on the results as I was confident if it did grow more bugs the Hospital would contact me.
Anyway my G.P sent off my specimen which again grew more bugs, after a weekend of nights sweats and increasing pain I actually wanted the antibiotics.
But a dilemma, I was to be doing some training fro my new job. I wasn't going to jeopardise that so I held off on the A.Bs until I got through the training. Running to the loo with diarrhoea and or vomiting would have been far worse than the aches and pains and sweats. I started the A.Bs the night of the training, firstly taking an anti emetic thinking I would be safe as it was a short session, by the time I get home I could take my first A.B.
It wasn't a short session the anti emetic took hold and I was drowsy through the session. Add in some nerves, fighting sleep, exhaustion from a tough week with other issues, I gabbled a bit, annoyed my trainer and felt like an idiot afterwards. I did try to explain in an email why I gabbled a bit, but Im not sure I was understood or the factors were taken into account, but whatever. I loved the session and enjoyed the content.
The end result of taking the antibiotics has been the usual fungal war, versus nausea, really horrific diarrhoea, stomach cramps and exhaustion. Even though I am on medication for diarrhoea daily anyway this dose was really foul. I lived on the loo two days ago, it was watery, painful and required some lovely lady products to protect one from humiliation.
To slow it down and avoid dehydration I upped the medication, which did diddly squat. Yesterday I was wiped out totally, hoping to get some rest in before working tomorrow. I had effectively halted the diarrhoea with meds and was cleaned out worse than a huge dose of microlax .
But yesterday was busy with visitors. I planned to lie back watch T.V do nothing and heal before work.
I was surprised when a steady stream of visitors turned up. Basically all day. When one left another turned up. Last night it was even busier. I'm the type that when visitors are present I am hospitable, wanting to ensure everyone has what they need. I love my friends coming over but yesterday I struggled. Really struggled.
I was so exhausted and experiencing painful stomach cramps that hiding it became harder and my irritation showed through.
The thing about chronic illness is people don't see the disease as much, you learn to hide it to live with it. The last two weeks had been overwhelming with illness, changes, events, grief factors. I'm it, the cleaner, the cook, the caregiver, handle the finances, the mum, the dad, battling against my own limits with health.
When I have finished cleaning thinking I can relax and the kids trapse dirt through I could cry from the exhaustion of thing I have to do it all again. Some nights I force myself to cook dinner, while fighting nausea and vomiting, half the time not even eating what I cook.
My son called me lazy yesterday when he came home from school, because Im not working a full time job. Well matey I do have a full time job being a mum, surviving each day, living off a pay check week by week, sometimes just living. I do what I can. When I go to bed at night, I always clean up so I can see a fresh house in the morning and not stress. Some nights before I am too exhausted to even clean out the lounge of stuff which means I wake to a mess in the morning, which is yuck.
last week two people I love were in Hospital, each battling individual diseases. One decided to see no one who wasn't immediate family. Because they like myself are strong and don't like people to see them in pain and feel they have to entertain or be hospitable. She knows I understand this as I struggle with it sometimes also. Many people without disease or chronic disease especially don't understand this.
I am grateful I do have friends who know me well enough to understand me. Most know if they pop in randomly and I am busy doing something, I cannot drop everything to be a great host. I have an open home and people don't have to txt before coming or call, I will always have open arms.
I have to get what I am doing done, or I may not be able to do it later. They are cool with watching T.V or chilling out while I finish what I am doing.
That is a huge help.
If I'm boarding on spewing or nauseous, in pain, I now ask them to make their own drinks. before I had to much pride to do this.
I am grateful for wonderful friends as they are like family to me. I am also learning I only have me and if I don't look after me and over do it, my kids and I will suffer.Sphere: Related Content