I've been extremely depressed recently..I OD'd on a variety of pills over 2 weeks ago. Within a 30 minute period i took the following:
500mg of Atarax (hydroxyzine)..so about 20 (25mg) pills.
90mg of stilnox (ambien)..9 (10mg) pills.
flunarazine(this is suppposed to cause drowsiness) 8 pills.
some over the counter sleeping pills(no idea what they were) 10 pills.
I crushed most of them up and took it with water. 15 minutes later, i swallowed the remainder of uncrushed pills. I did this while drunk- i had 4 cocktails about an hour before. Also, after taking the pills, I had 4-5 teaspoons of benadryl cough syrup. for some reason i really thought this would kill me.
after the fact, i dont know how i possibly thought that..i guess in my state of mind at the time, while drunk, i read waay too much into the warnings of the sometimes "synergistic" effect when combining different meds..along with the addition of alcohol to the mix...somehow convinced myself it would be kill me. Also thinking that crushing them instead of taking them whole would really mess me up, cause me to slip into a coma....
I just ended up falling asleep AN HOUR after taking it all, slept for 10 hours, woke up with dry mouth, occasional ringing in my ears and a few times felt my heart rate speed up. a few hours after waking up though, that was gone, no vomiting, no pain of any type, no passing out. i'm pretty shocked that nothing else happened. esp. the combined effects of alcohol and ambien- how was i able to stay up for an hour? i wasnt trying to keep myself awake! does this seem strange or am i just over reacting here..
I'm 70kg, lean build. i had never taken these meds before so i have no tolerance built up. i drink 2-3 days a week on average, sometimes go a few months without drinking, dont use any type of drugs. I know that everyone's physiology is different..i have to accept the possibility that i did mess up my insides a bit and just cant feel any actual pain...yet. some ppl might be quick to say i have liver damage..but there is no acetaminophen in the meds i took..so i dont think so...aside from my liver processing the alcohol i consumed......but i'm not a doctor so i could be quite wrong!
yes, go ahead and laugh..i'm a total dumbass. its embarrassing, and i know, i should consider myself very lucky i didnt end up in the emergency room. i know this is not the most appropriate place to post this..and it has become a bit long winded...guess i just needed to let it out, get some feedback about it. esp. speculation about long term effects.....i know i should go get checked out..im scared to go to the doc though..plus i have no money, no insurance and i havent told anyone what i did. i dont want to drugged on a daily basis with anti-depressants or spend a week at some loony bin, that would really make me crazy...
why did i try to OD in the first place? well to sum it up i lost my job, all my life savings, really stuck right now, no $ and have lost all drive..i know many ppl have it much worse! I'm not sitting here thinking "poor me", i'm just extremely pissed of and tired..wanna throw in the towel, tired of struggling through life having it all taken away, what's the point? I'm young now but will i end up 60+ years old, bitter and burnt out and still having to work just to survive? god i need a drink...
Wow, that's a lot of pills . .I'm surprised all that happened was that you slept for an hour too. So that suggests that maybe the damage is not as bad as you think . i don't judge you , or your motives. I know what's it's like to be worried, and the fact that you are concerned about yourself now tells me that you care enough to take a few steps to find out whether anything has happened.
Why don't you just go to your doctor and say that you would like your liver to be checked out because you've had a few drinks in your time and you'd like to ascertain any damage , or that you have a family history of liver problems and you'd like to test for it too. . something where you don't have to disclose what really happened. .
I had a similar experience in that I took psychotropic drugs and i worry about what they did to me to the point where sometimes I can barely function from worrying. So I went to a naturopath and they tested my neurotransmitters and they can do other test too for other things. . depending on what you present with. The tests are blood and urine samples. Then they give you supplements to help restore the balance and repair the damage.
But you may be ok. . so you just need to take the steps to find out and don't leave it 12 years like I did!
As for the depression (the naturpath can help), remember to be kind to yourself, just be in the moment, stop and don't look too far forward into the future or backward at your past bcoos we can't always control these things. speak to a therapist, they won't judge you either, they will help you plan what you are going to do to help yourself and improve your situation. . take care and best wishes
I don't know how old this post is... I just want to say that sometimes I think it would be easier to go to with God. No one here seems to care or need me anymore. I'm young...so I have a whole lifetime to develop long and lasting relationships still, but when you're feeling down and unwanted the future doesn't seem to matter so much. But just always think you might change your mind tomorrow. Any important decision is worth thinking about. Why not just run away to some other place and start all over again? Just start a brand new life! You can be whoever and whatever you want to be... to a certain extent :) Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and all the blessings that God can give. And may you spread your blessings to everyone you know. Anyway, I love you for being a human, designed by God, and just like me, sort of uncertain about what to do with this life.
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