The past few days have been a bit rocky as I think my bod is adjusting to the changes in my prednisolone and tacrolimus. Its been a bit of a rougher ride than I had expected and any energy I do manage to have, well... that gets zapped up rather quickly!! The fact that I have regular trips to hospital for follow up appointments since transplant clinic last week and for scans really doesnt aid the healing process. It seems as I take two steps forward, I take two steps back and it is frustrating especially when trying hard to live as 'normal' a life as possible.
All in all things are fine and my sleep seems to be getting a bit better so thats good. I think those Lidocaine patches are working well overnight but I am suffering in the day. As I got into the taxi today I really felt the stabbing pains that usually happen in my back around the front where the thoroctomy incision begins. It was pretty unbearable and I was crippled with pain. I couldn't even take anymore pain relief as I had already taken some within the last 4 hours. I think this is something I need to speak to the pain team about having a back up dose/top up for when this does happen. Its not the first time and luckily mum was with me but there are times when I have felt powerless and I don't like when pain escalates like that as I do have a pretty high pain threshold.
Despite me feeling this way and a bit 'Miss Grumpypants' about it I feel lucky that I can even communicate my pain. I can precisely describe it and hope that I will get help for it, which though its trial and error I have a great pain team who are trying everything at their disposal. But what about little babies who cna't describe what's wrong? What about people in ICU with tracheostomies like I had who frustratingly try to communicate their pain but are not heard? In my case I couldn't even write it down beacuse I had tremors so my hands would just constantly shake from the medication and the weight of lifiting my wrist was total agony. I can remember that so well. That's what made me more determined to learn sign language in the hope of helping others and also perhaps myself again one day?!? Level 1 down and Level 2 is next on the cards but i wanted some time out to resonate what I've learned so far before making the next step...hopefully 2011 will let me continue the learning journey of sign language.
After a long day I think its time I head to bed. There's a bit of a rollover for tomorrow as not much got done today. I will see how I feel in the morning and re evaluate what must be done against what can wait a while!!