Posted by
Jamie V.
I love to go grocery shopping. I love the textures and colors, poring over various cheeses, talking to other customers about what they like and why. It's a great experience.
My hunky hubby comes with me from time to time. I usually take a kiddo with me, but he thought it might be fun to come along because we were going to grill and needed some fresh vegetables and beef.
Among other things, I placed in my cart jicama, zucchini, ripe, red grape tomatoes, a bunch of bananas, Marscapone, a juicy (OMG) steak, and basically shopped the outer edges of the store, stopping for a moment in the baking aisle to ogle almond flours (at $14 a pound). I was so excited at the bounty in my cart and wanted to share it with my dearly beloved.
"Look at this beauty, honey! Isn't this colorful? Beautiful? Healthy? Gorjussss?"
He smiled and patted me on the head and congratulated me on shopping marvellously. Then he told me we needed to hit a few more aisles.
By the time we pulled into the check stand, I looked down at Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Coke, cereal, graham crackers, marshmallows and potato chips, all of which covered my beautiful harvest of deliciously-shopped items.
It's not often a portly lady such as myself can roll up to the counter with a cart filled with the best eye candy nature has to offer in the form of whole fruits and vegetables. I wanted to strut my stuff. Boast a little. Make conversation with the clerk about how I lost 80 pounds following a whole foods, organic way of eating (Atkins).
That said, I told him his stuff was making my stuff look bad. "Your peanut butter cups are shrouding the delicacy of my organic chicken boobs over here! You've wrecked my shopping cart moment."
In a mere five aisles, I'd gone from looking like a fat chick who tries to look healthy while buying veggies to one who buys a bunch of junk food and then throws some vegetables in there like someone in denial.
"Well?!" I said, hands on my hips. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
He smiled broadly and pointed at his King-Sized candy bar and said only one word. "Chocolate."
Glorious Cart Moment Turns to Agony of De-eat
Posted by Jamie V.
I love to go grocery shopping. I love the textures and colors, poring over various cheeses, talking to other customers about what they like and why. It's a great experience.
My hunky hubby comes with me from time to time. I usually take a kiddo with me, but he thought it might be fun to come along because we were going to grill and needed some fresh vegetables and beef.
Among other things, I placed in my cart jicama, zucchini, ripe, red grape tomatoes, a bunch of bananas, Marscapone, a juicy (OMG) steak, and basically shopped the outer edges of the store, stopping for a moment in the baking aisle to ogle almond flours (at $14 a pound). I was so excited at the bounty in my cart and wanted to share it with my dearly beloved.
"Look at this beauty, honey! Isn't this colorful? Beautiful? Healthy? Gorjussss?"
He smiled and patted me on the head and congratulated me on shopping marvellously. Then he told me we needed to hit a few more aisles.
By the time we pulled into the check stand, I looked down at Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Coke, cereal, graham crackers, marshmallows and potato chips, all of which covered my beautiful harvest of deliciously-shopped items.
It's not often a portly lady such as myself can roll up to the counter with a cart filled with the best eye candy nature has to offer in the form of whole fruits and vegetables. I wanted to strut my stuff. Boast a little. Make conversation with the clerk about how I lost 80 pounds following a whole foods, organic way of eating (Atkins).
That said, I told him his stuff was making my stuff look bad. "Your peanut butter cups are shrouding the delicacy of my organic chicken boobs over here! You've wrecked my shopping cart moment."
In a mere five aisles, I'd gone from looking like a fat chick who tries to look healthy while buying veggies to one who buys a bunch of junk food and then throws some vegetables in there like someone in denial.
"Well?!" I said, hands on my hips. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
He smiled broadly and pointed at his King-Sized candy bar and said only one word. "Chocolate."