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Finding a way forward

Posted Jul 31 2010 12:00am
The past couple weeks have reminded me of just how different live can look like depending on the space you look through.  A narrow, small window will only lend itself to few things, everything else in the picture is omitted.  A wide, expansive window gives you a range of possibilities some inifinte.  There is the opportunity to reach out and do more.

At the moment I am having some problems with my bloods regarding my white cell count and blood pressure.  Usually this would not be debilitating and I just carry on as usual till the docs give me the look.  That look that says...you lmow whats coming now.  But last week my frail bod just said 'I quit' and so i had to block out and cancel the best part of the week.  It was an incredibly difficult to do but it ddid me so much good.  I was unable to leave my bed this time last week as I was drained of all energy...there was no reserve to draw on!

But feeling much more tippity top as this week comes to an end...there are still things to be sorted but at least I feel more like me and my lips are a healthy colour!

I am getting excited now that August is approaching and I will be celebrating my 30th and my 2nd year post transplant.  I am acutely aware that for my donor family it will be a sad time.  I really hope that some of their pain has started to heal a little...

Going back to work has been incredible and I am enjoying it so much however I am noticing a few things that I may need to incorporate whilst I am there.  As many of you know, I have great difficulty bending down to retrieve things: I get extremely breathless, I am physically weak and so its very very painful and I get light headed as my already low blood pressure plummets further! All in all it is never a good thing to do.  Inevitably at work I drop things like paper, pen and rather than ask my colleagues or wait until they're free I think my handpicker would be good.  Thing is I cannot afford to lose the ones I have so I think I will ask my employers and see if they can arrange one on loan for me at work?

If anyone knows about whether such provision can be arranged, maybe someone who works in HR can you please leave a comment in my guestbook...thanks in advance!

Its stock check day for my medications so I'd better go and do that!  My lidocaine patches seem to be working a treat (for pain around my thoroctomy scar).  Apparantly they are new on the market but are meant to be very effective.  I do worry it will fall off throughout the day but so far, so good!  It stays 12 hour on and 12 hours off so I set an alarm to remind me!
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