Have you ever had days where you try to convince your self you really should get something done, work that to-do list, but you can't seem to find the energy no matter how hard and long you look? I mean it's not like you look under your chair and there it is, all the energy you need. It's just gone.
I have a few of those days each month. And for a long time, I would rail against the fog in my head, the sludge in my blood as if I it was me against someone else. "Come on! You have got to get this done! Focus! What is wrong with you! Quit making cups of tea and munching on nuts and berries and get something done!"
Then, one day, walking with Spencer, this appeared in my head. "You will never win the fight against your self."
It's hard. Competition. Expectations. A list the length of my street with stuff to do; things to accomplish and the ticking of my creative clock pounding in my head like a ball-peen hammer on a concrete sidewalk.
"You will never win the fight against your self."
Sting said in a song, "If you love somebody, set them free." I decided to stop fighting. If I feel tired, I now try to respect it. Accept it. Even honor it. After all, it's me. It's still hard to do but fighting doesn't help the situation at all.
And, this is exactly what you must do when you're injured, hurt, or have had surgery. You have to stop fighting your self.
It's all around you. The evidence of the fight. It's doing things that you know will hurt you, make your knee swell, or your back hurt but you do them any way and then discover you're not any better. All that just happened was you went ten rounds with your self and lost.
I'm not suggesting you become a sloth or just resign your self to life of less. No. To come back from an injury, you must fight. But, the fight is to overcome your limitations by honoring where you are, what you have, and what you can do now. Bring your fight to that battle.
Fight the right fight.
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