Endometriosis Acting Up in Remaining Ovary and Bowel -- Just Shoot me!
Posted Nov 19 2009 10:00pm
To shoot or not to shoot -- that is the question. I was on Lupron for a year and then went to Depo Provera (as an add-back kind of therapy to help with the pain). I am past my 3 months for my shot,
Of all of the crazy things, Endometriosis has decided to pop it's head into the mix of my life and make things kind of miserable. I have just popped a Lortab 7.5 and should be feeling some relief soon (this stops some of the bad bowel issues too because it seems to quiet the bowel to a point where I can deal with it). I am stuck between a rock and a hard place because the endometriosis and bowel symptoms on the right side are just sometimes really tough to bear. I do know the pain of Grade IV Endometriosis and the quality of life is takes with it --worse than MS in my mind at this point ... but it's hard to take the female issues seriously. At least it is for other people. The woman going through it knows EXACTLY what it feels like. Pain so bad you want to die. I hate to be the drama queen, but that is how it was. And although I have only one ovary left (I sometimes question why I made that choice to keep it and not just go through menopause at the age of 38, there is no turning back now). The surgeon has already told me that the surgery to extract the right remaining ovary is far too risky given all of the adhesions that WERE present in 2003 when I had my hysterectomy and that the scarring that is present now would make it really risky: especially for me as an MS'er. It would be a tough surgery and who knows what it looks like in there. A mess I am sure. My first hysterectomy took 5 hours and I lost enough blood to require transfusions. That gives you an idea.
I am headed towards 44, the closest to 200 lbs. I have ever been in my darn life and feeling self-loathing. There is no way to rule out hormones and the fact that I still have Endometriosis despite the surgery to remove almost all of my girlie parts. I was left with one, pumping dysfunctional ovary that has so many endometrial cycsts (affectionately called "Chocolate cysts" - yuck) that it's a wonder that the thing can functon at all. I have little endometrial tissue deposits all over my body. Legs, abdomen--they can even make it to the sinuses and brain. Cruel disease if you ask me!!!
Endometriosis runs in the family on my Dad's side and was inherited by my sister Pilar and I. I think it broke my Dad's heart to see me after my hysterectomy ...l but I was thankful for the surgery. I really was. To me, it did not hurt as much as the actual monthly burden.
So this posting is less about MS and more about my body being stressed by Endometriosis at this time. Pain killer is kicking in and I am going to pull up my bootstraps (while CC drives the car) and make my way to our family function.
CC just re-iterated to me that she would recommend I take the Depo-Provera again (a 3-month shot) so that I can do the things I want to do like play Flamenco, do martial arts, etc. I am kind of stuck with this until real menopause comes my way. I know I am probably only a couple years out given my Mom's history. So, I orderered my Depo shot from the VA mail pharmacy and it should be here in a few days. I'll either give it to myself or have my neighborly nurse shoot me in the arm. We are also going to try to consult with CC's sister Steph to help us with some dietary things. Depo makes you HUNGRY (X 10) and it's hard to curb that appetite. I am on a pillbox of weight gaining drugs. But this one certainly does not help and probably leads the parade. It's so much easier to self-loathe and feel moody. But truthfully, I have many things to be so thankful for.
I am thankful for CC and my family and those supportive friends. Blessings all around.