Domestic Violence, When You Hide It, We All Suffer
Posted Nov 19 2009 10:08pm
"I have found many people follow my blog anonymously. Or they are scared to comment, or are scared of my comments. I just say how it is, what is the reality. However there still appears to be shame around speaking out about Domestic Violence or standing up for ones rights regarding the Medical system and the abuses there. When we hide things, suffer in silence or want to appear politically correct and meet societies expectations we are enabling and supporting what I have written above. Here is a wee story, how many types of abuse can you find within it.
This could be you.
She wants to just sleep, but his voice is in her ears. Ranting and raving her second night of being kept up until the sun comes up. He arrived without notice, from a far off country. Within minutes of arrival he says to her from the couch opposite "the rules are going to change around here"! She knew then, that he hadn't changed, in fact things were going to get much much worse. They had been separated for over a year, divorced religiously. She had felt free for the first time in years and could smile again.
Until the phone call, the emails, the promises. She knew she couldn't escape him, he had done this before. He had her followed by private detectives, called all her friends and family. Hacked her computer, had her set up. He wouldn't leave her alone from thousands of miles away. To protect her family and friends from the constant harassment, she accepted his calls. Now he was here, in her country, in her safe and secure environment she had created for her and her children. Everyone judged her, no one understood how he could manipulate and scare her from afar. She had resisted his plea's, threats and demands of her to go to his country, as she knew he would have her kicked out and he keep her child. It was safer here...She thought.
She was exhausted, after him only being there for a couple of days. Later that night he came home from work. He started the minute he walked in the door. She put her child to bed to protect her.
Later as she sat on the floor, he ranted on at her, accusing her of the things he had done. The cheating, the lying. She had never cheated but he had to find a way to punish her, in his head. She wanted him to leave, she was scared, he wouldn't go. Calling her all the names under the sun, then the phone rang. She went to answer it, a friend, she tried to ask for help. The husband tried to rip the phone from her she quickly hung up. As she went to walk away he kicked her from behind in her private regions. She was already in pain from a medical condition. She was flung onto the couch, the cigarette in her hand burned a hole in the couch as it was dropped. He picked her up and threw her onto the other couch pinning her down. Her heart was racing, her neck painful as she was bent backwards over the couch. She looked up to the ceiling "Am I going to die" she thought. She screamed at him to stop. He threw her to the other end of the couch and she struggled to get free. He did stop. He went through her bag throwing everything out, taking her phone and money as she pleaded for him to leave. "I'm going to smash everything in this house, you will have nothing" She managed to struggle to the computer and write a note to someone for help as he still ranted. He didn't know she had set up a safety word with someone.
Then she threatened to call the Police if he didn't leave. He didn't believe her. As she spoke to the operator he still abused and yelled at her. She curled into the foetal position on the chair, making herself as small as she could.Her heart was racing, her body wracked in pain, she cried silently, as if he had seen the tears he would have mocked her as before. The Police arrived, they separated the pair.
She heard him say to the Cop "yeah I kicked her" then he laughed. He was arrested. He couldn't believe he would be arrested. In his country they would turn a blind eye.He spat at her as he was walked past her "this is all your fault" A policewoman stepped in front of her, to shield her from his venomous taunts. He spent the weekend in jail. Her mother in law rang and asked after her son. "He is in Jail" was the reply. The only thing the Mother In law said when the events were explained was "you should have kept that in the bedroom"," it is your fault my son is in Jail". From that point on she understood why he had got away with so much. His behaviour was condoned and accepted. Her child went to school the following week and told the teacher "My daddy is in jail for hurting my mummy". She still owns the couch with the cigarette burns, to remind her of what to not go through again. He was the reason she started smoking to begin with. Sphere: Related Content