I haven't posted in a couple of days for reasons that I really can't explain. It may be in part to laziness, but I think it is more because of the state of my mind and body right now. I am just plain worn out from the chemotherapy and the resulting lack of activity, both mental and physical. There is just so little energy by mid week, that it is easier to just lay back and watch television than it is to get up off my ass and do something. Once the steroids and Velcade rush wear off, everything I do is just more effort than I care to expend. I realize that this is a bad attitude to have and that I need to work on improving it. I need to force myself to make my days more active whether I feel like it or not. Having lost the ability to do anything significant physically, it is hard to come up with activities to carry out. I have been watching hours of DIY television programs and am ready in my mind to do all sorts of projects around the house, but my body is in no shape to carry them out. Just sitting around is absolutely sapping me physically and mentally, I need to swing a hammer or hang a light fixture. This is very frustrating for me, a person who is used to doing these kinds of things myself. Part of this is the funk (depression) I now find myself in. Hopefully the Lexipro will start to kick in soon and help me heal a bit. For the time being, I will commit to making sure that the blog gets posted everyday without fail. I may come up with some off the wall topics, but there are plenty around us to write about.