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daily dealings with chronic illness

Posted May 08 2009 11:39pm
last Night I had an argument with my son. He is usually a pretty chilled out and relaxed kid, but his frustration is building at having a mum who cant play sport with him. Both of boys play Hockey and do extremely well, I do go and support them despite the freezing temperatures, and a bored younger sibling who isn't interested and moans continually during the game.
I feel for my boy, yet not all parents are sporty, I think his frustrations are deeper seated regarding the general state of my health. Sometimes when he is annoyed with me he will throw my situation in my face, this happens very infrequently thank god. It doesn't hurt me anymore and he doesn't get the hoped for reaction, as I have accepted I cannot do any better than what I already do.
The things I do to minimise the effect on my children involve trying very hard to maintain a normalised situation. I don't take to my bed when sick, so that the children don't see a noticeable difference when I am really struggling. I hang out in my living room and base my daily life from that room.
being a solo parent, I have to cook all of the meals, maintain the house, fit in school work, and support the kids. Not having extended family around has made it more difficult, but I have adapted to this.
I have developed a system where if I am feeling nauseous or vomiting and cant stand cooking, I tell the kids its make what you want night. They have a range of favourite foods they like to cook, and it doesn't happen often.
Housework is managed through doing small amounts daily, rather than allocating a day to clean which can become mammoth task if having a bad day.
lastly I make sure I use every good day I have efficiently, I harness the energy and use it to get all the things done that I can.
Once again last night I had to remind my son that as much as I would like to do more activities with him my health and financial situation sometimes dictates otherwise. Also while he is going through an incredibly lazy stage and cant be bothered to do the most basic of things, that he should also not expect me to jump for him at a whim. I know teenagers are totally self absorbed, and are going through a rough period in their lives. yet this is also the time to teach them empathy and respect for others less fortunate than themselves.
I don't feel good about not being able to be more active for my kids at times, however I'm not going to stress my system out further by buying into impossibilities.
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