I have finally got round to rounding up all the tickets and scrappy bits of paper containing the amusing calls I have been collecting for ages and below is my new collection of time wasters and strange requests.
LAS not RSPCA- My cat has a cough
- My cat is crying and it's keeping me awake
- A bird is trapped in a tree outside my house
- Caller is worried a dog has eaten her cat
Do you REALLY need an ambulance for this let alone admit it even happened?!?!- 27 YOF sudden onset of yawning - Is that not called tiredness??
- 20 YOF unable to get her shoe off - How did you manage to get your shoe off for the last 15 years???
- 32 YOM eaten mouse droppings. Accidental - were on a pizza - We can't get that flavour from our Dominoes
- 29 YOF frozen fish has fallen on her foot - If we're talking a 20lb carp then I actually feel sorry for her but knowing our callers it's actually be a fish finger
- 32 YOM hit in head with a frozen tomato
- 19 YOM got hair product in his eye whilst out walking in the rain. States he has really sensitive eyes - Hands up if we feel this guy might have been beaten up at school!
- 19 YOM Male with blisters all over his penis making his legs sore - Maybe you should be more careful where you stick it in future!
? MH Patient- 21 YOM states he is turning into a rock - Pink seaside rock? Woohoo!! Saves me going to Brighton to get it
- Male states his TV keeps telling him to get lost - Is he actually watching an advert for Sky One?
- Patient stated she had been kidnapped and locked in a cupboard and was unable to get out. Feeling nausea from smell of mothballs
- Drunk sounding polish woman singing Christmas carols to calltaker stating someone has spoilt her Christmas - She totally made mine though - kept us all amused for the rest of the night!!
- Young Male lying in the road dresses as Captain America
Is your name Lucky?- Car v Car RTC - Driver wasn't injured from hitting car. Got hit by another vehicle as he got out - That is such a bugger! Luckily he was fine bar a bit of a bump on his side
- 67 YOM drank tea with 3 spoons of washing powder instead of sugar - What I want to know is who keeps these 2 items together so they could be mixed up???
- 88 YOFaccidentally punched in the mouth by her husband while he was dreaming
Miscellaneous but still kind of amusing- Message from the police regarding a 70 YOF involved in an RTC - "Can we have a description of the 70 YOF" Reply from us - "She's a female and about 70"
- Caller wanted to know if they'd been an RTC in his area as his wife had gone missing on his bike and he wanted it back - Nice to know he's not in the least bit concerned about his wife!!
Spelling Mistakes and slightly wrong wording- Lots of shouting and whaling in background - What?! Lots of men with harpoons?
- Unable to arouse patient - I don't think we can help you with that
- Patient going for Agent Radio Pheropy - This could so be a fantastic book character to help kids through treatment
So that's all I have for now. I'll start collecting more and add another entry soon. Speak soon and thanks for checking back here - I know it's been a while. I wasn't sure whether to keep writing but took some good advice from a guy at work and thought better of stopping. Thank you (for all your little chats) - you know who you are.
LAS not RSPCA
- My cat has a cough
- My cat is crying and it's keeping me awake
- A bird is trapped in a tree outside my house
- Caller is worried a dog has eaten her cat
Do you REALLY need an ambulance for this let alone admit it even happened?!?!- 27 YOF sudden onset of yawning - Is that not called tiredness??
- 20 YOF unable to get her shoe off - How did you manage to get your shoe off for the last 15 years???
- 32 YOM eaten mouse droppings. Accidental - were on a pizza - We can't get that flavour from our Dominoes
- 29 YOF frozen fish has fallen on her foot - If we're talking a 20lb carp then I actually feel sorry for her but knowing our callers it's actually be a fish finger
- 32 YOM hit in head with a frozen tomato
- 19 YOM got hair product in his eye whilst out walking in the rain. States he has really sensitive eyes - Hands up if we feel this guy might have been beaten up at school!
- 19 YOM Male with blisters all over his penis making his legs sore - Maybe you should be more careful where you stick it in future!
? MH Patient- 21 YOM states he is turning into a rock - Pink seaside rock? Woohoo!! Saves me going to Brighton to get it
- Male states his TV keeps telling him to get lost - Is he actually watching an advert for Sky One?
- Patient stated she had been kidnapped and locked in a cupboard and was unable to get out. Feeling nausea from smell of mothballs
- Drunk sounding polish woman singing Christmas carols to calltaker stating someone has spoilt her Christmas - She totally made mine though - kept us all amused for the rest of the night!!
- Young Male lying in the road dresses as Captain America
Is your name Lucky?- Car v Car RTC - Driver wasn't injured from hitting car. Got hit by another vehicle as he got out - That is such a bugger! Luckily he was fine bar a bit of a bump on his side
- 67 YOM drank tea with 3 spoons of washing powder instead of sugar - What I want to know is who keeps these 2 items together so they could be mixed up???
- 88 YOFaccidentally punched in the mouth by her husband while he was dreaming
Miscellaneous but still kind of amusing- Message from the police regarding a 70 YOF involved in an RTC - "Can we have a description of the 70 YOF" Reply from us - "She's a female and about 70"
- Caller wanted to know if they'd been an RTC in his area as his wife had gone missing on his bike and he wanted it back - Nice to know he's not in the least bit concerned about his wife!!
Spelling Mistakes and slightly wrong wording- Lots of shouting and whaling in background - What?! Lots of men with harpoons?
- Unable to arouse patient - I don't think we can help you with that
- Patient going for Agent Radio Pheropy - This could so be a fantastic book character to help kids through treatment
So that's all I have for now. I'll start collecting more and add another entry soon. Speak soon and thanks for checking back here - I know it's been a while. I wasn't sure whether to keep writing but took some good advice from a guy at work and thought better of stopping. Thank you (for all your little chats) - you know who you are.