I have finally got round to rounding up all the tickets and scrappy bits of paper containing the amusing calls I have been collecting for ages and below is my new collection of time wasters and strange requests.
LAS not RSPCA
My cat has a cough
My cat is crying and it's keeping me awake
A bird is trapped in a tree outside my house
Caller is worried a dog has eaten her cat
Do you REALLY need an ambulance for this let alone admit it even happened?!?!
27 YOF sudden onset of yawning - Is that not called tiredness??
20 YOF unable to get her shoe off - How did you manage to get your shoe off for the last 15 years???
32 YOM eaten mouse droppings. Accidental - were on a pizza - We can't get that flavour from our Dominoes
29 YOF frozen fish has fallen on her foot - If we're talking a 20lb carp then I actually feel sorry for her but knowing our callers it's actually be a fish finger
32 YOM hit in head with a frozen tomato
19 YOM got hair product in his eye whilst out walking in the rain. States he has really sensitive eyes - Hands up if we feel this guy might have been beaten up at school!
19 YOM Male with blisters all over his penis making his legs sore - Maybe you should be more careful where you stick it in future!
? MH Patient
21 YOM states he is turning into a rock - Pink seaside rock? Woohoo!! Saves me going to Brighton to get it
Male states his TV keeps telling him to get lost - Is he actually watching an advert for Sky One?
Patient stated she had been kidnapped and locked in a cupboard and was unable to get out. Feeling nausea from smell of mothballs
Drunk sounding polish woman singing Christmas carols to calltaker stating someone has spoilt her Christmas - She totally made mine though - kept us all amused for the rest of the night!!
Young Male lying in the road dresses as Captain America
Is your name Lucky?
Car v Car RTC - Driver wasn't injured from hitting car. Got hit by another vehicle as he got out - That is such a bugger! Luckily he was fine bar a bit of a bump on his side
67 YOM drank tea with 3 spoons of washing powder instead of sugar - What I want to know is who keeps these 2 items together so they could be mixed up???
88 YOFaccidentally punched in the mouth by her husband while he was dreaming
Miscellaneous but still kind of amusing
Message from the police regarding a 70 YOF involved in an RTC - "Can we have a description of the 70 YOF" Reply from us - "She's a female and about 70"
Caller wanted to know if they'd been an RTC in his area as his wife had gone missing on his bike and he wanted it back - Nice to know he's not in the least bit concerned about his wife!!
Spelling Mistakes and slightly wrong wording
Lots of shouting and whaling in background - What?! Lots of men with harpoons?
Unable to arouse patient - I don't think we can help you with that
Patient going for Agent Radio Pheropy - This could so be a fantastic book character to help kids through treatment
So that's all I have for now. I'll start collecting more and add another entry soon. Speak soon and thanks for checking back here - I know it's been a while. I wasn't sure whether to keep writing but took some good advice from a guy at work and thought better of stopping. Thank you (for all your little chats) - you know who you are.
LAS not RSPCA
- My cat has a cough
- My cat is crying and it's keeping me awake
- A bird is trapped in a tree outside my house
- Caller is worried a dog has eaten her cat
Do you REALLY need an ambulance for this let alone admit it even happened?!?!- 27 YOF sudden onset of yawning - Is that not called tiredness??
- 20 YOF unable to get her shoe off - How did you manage to get your shoe off for the last 15 years???
- 32 YOM eaten mouse droppings. Accidental - were on a pizza - We can't get that flavour from our Dominoes
- 29 YOF frozen fish has fallen on her foot - If we're talking a 20lb carp then I actually feel sorry for her but knowing our callers it's actually be a fish finger
- 32 YOM hit in head with a frozen tomato
- 19 YOM got hair product in his eye whilst out walking in the rain. States he has really sensitive eyes - Hands up if we feel this guy might have been beaten up at school!
- 19 YOM Male with blisters all over his penis making his legs sore - Maybe you should be more careful where you stick it in future!
? MH Patient- 21 YOM states he is turning into a rock - Pink seaside rock? Woohoo!! Saves me going to Brighton to get it
- Male states his TV keeps telling him to get lost - Is he actually watching an advert for Sky One?
- Patient stated she had been kidnapped and locked in a cupboard and was unable to get out. Feeling nausea from smell of mothballs
- Drunk sounding polish woman singing Christmas carols to calltaker stating someone has spoilt her Christmas - She totally made mine though - kept us all amused for the rest of the night!!
- Young Male lying in the road dresses as Captain America
Is your name Lucky?- Car v Car RTC - Driver wasn't injured from hitting car. Got hit by another vehicle as he got out - That is such a bugger! Luckily he was fine bar a bit of a bump on his side
- 67 YOM drank tea with 3 spoons of washing powder instead of sugar - What I want to know is who keeps these 2 items together so they could be mixed up???
- 88 YOFaccidentally punched in the mouth by her husband while he was dreaming
Miscellaneous but still kind of amusing- Message from the police regarding a 70 YOF involved in an RTC - "Can we have a description of the 70 YOF" Reply from us - "She's a female and about 70"
- Caller wanted to know if they'd been an RTC in his area as his wife had gone missing on his bike and he wanted it back - Nice to know he's not in the least bit concerned about his wife!!
Spelling Mistakes and slightly wrong wording- Lots of shouting and whaling in background - What?! Lots of men with harpoons?
- Unable to arouse patient - I don't think we can help you with that
- Patient going for Agent Radio Pheropy - This could so be a fantastic book character to help kids through treatment
So that's all I have for now. I'll start collecting more and add another entry soon. Speak soon and thanks for checking back here - I know it's been a while. I wasn't sure whether to keep writing but took some good advice from a guy at work and thought better of stopping. Thank you (for all your little chats) - you know who you are.