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August 6, 2009 - Day 108

Posted Aug 07 2009 12:18pm
You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium's
Liable to walk upon the scene
Johnny Mercer - 1945
I realize that the past few days of posts have focused on the dreadfulness of Amy and what she can do to your mind and body.
Maybe it is time to step back and look at some of the good things that I have learned during the past few months.
I have come to an understanding, that few people will ever have the opportunity to experience, of just what family means in a time of crisis. Until you are faced with a calamity, I don't think that the true nature of a family and their love is stripped down to bare bones.
If we could do this when times are good, think how much more fulfilling and joyful our lives together could be.
I am a lucky person to be able to have this kind of family behind me.
I have learned about being loved by someone who would do anything for me, even to the detriment of her own well being.
I have learned about a level of love that few people will ever know, because something like this removes all the pretenses and facades that we carry around with us.
I have learned who my true friends are and to have a deep appreciation for the support and encouragement they give me.
I have a greater awareness of nature and the symbiotic relationship we have with it, each depending on the other for survival.
I have learned that petty people with their small-minded opinions and prejudices are just not worth wasting my time or energy on.
I have had the privilege of meeting and working with what have to be some of the most caring, intelligent and professional people in the medical world.
I have learned to fluently speak the language of a disease, the myriad of drugs used to treat it, the side effects of said drugs and the tests used to monitor it. This has helped to empower me with the ability to understand and deal with it.
I have become part of a small and closely bound family that shares my fight with AMY. Even though we have never met or hoisted a beer together, I feel as close to them as just about anyone in my life. We have a special relationship that allows us, without any preconceptions, to open up our souls to each other based on this common experience.
I have learned that I enjoy writing. My only regret is that I didn't try it earlier in my life.
When I hear someone say that you need to live everyday like it is your last, I can take that to heart and try to show them what those words really mean.
Everyday, I learn more about how to find an inner peace in my soul, as this is all that will really matter in the end.
I learned how much I enjoy the taste of a good seedless watermelon and that fresh strawberries and frozen M&M peanuts are essential to sustaining human life at 3AM.
I understand the saying, "You can be a king or a street sweeper. But everybody dances with the grim reaper." Too bad many people think they are above all this.
I have learned not to bitch about the weather, to just to enjoy it no matter what it may be, for it is a gift.
I have learned that there are strangers out there who really do care about me and how I feel. For this, I thank them.
I have corresponded with several people who have thanked me for my story because it has helped them cope with their own struggle. For me, this means more than anything else I have accomplished in my life and I am fulfilled by it.
If I achieve nothing else in my life, I will be content knowing that I made a difference in the life of a brother or sister when they needed it.
I have learned that life is what we choose it to be, so choose wisely and you will not regret a single minute of it.
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