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An Identity Crisis

Posted Nov 19 2009 10:08pm

It is nice to see she still enjoys games such as slaps lol.

My daughter is nearly 11 years old. Although she is acting more like 16 for the last 3 months. She is intelligent, articulate, artistic, and her dream is of becoming a Forensic Anthropologist.
We have always had a close and wonderful relationship, however now she is growing up, and finding her identity. I know she is going through a normal process in this stage of her life.

She has not had an easy time with being dragged in and out of court with custody/domestic violence issues. Her Dad coming and going, my health issues, a new step mum etc. However she is resilient, and deals with her issues by reading many books, making a joke out of things, and has always been able to communicate with me.

Her communication of late though has been fraught with back talking, smart comments, yelling, having wee tantrums, not listening at all, and not responding to punishments(removal of luxuries, early bedtimes). I normally reward her based on good behaviour. Meaning general attitude and being respectful, lets just say she hasn't earned any pocket money for some time now.

I do assess the whole picture rather than blame a normal process.
Her Dad moved up North to work at a Hospital there, so she commutes every second week. She has gone from weekly mid week access, and every second weekend, to flying up on a Friday, and returning on a Sunday. This must be hard for her, and I know this may be contributing to her lashing out sessions.

She is also going through an Identity crisis. My daughter is half Egyptian and Muslim. She was once proud of these parts of her. Of lately she has been wanting to change her identity. She has relaxed a bit now on it, yet she is going through all of this emotional turmoil. I support her strongly on maintaining her Identity.
In this country, Australia, U.S.A, etc many indigenous cultures fell to pieces when denied their culture and identity and still struggle today. I don't want his for her. Whatever decisions she makes in adult life I will respect that as she is her own person. As far as religions go all of them offer brilliant morals and values to abide by in life, a foundation of sorts, so I wont knock any religion based on those principals.

It will be a rocky road for a while with her, I have to ensure good boundaries so she feels secure, listen to her, guide her, love her and let her go at some point. For now she is still my little girl.
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