Firstly, Im sending big warm fuzzies to my blogger and non blogger friends. Joey, Tracey and family, Amy and family, have all been affected by Swine Flu my love and hugs to you all. I also extend this to those of you who are also struggling with daily chronic health. I hope you guys all recover %100 my prayers are with you. I've been missing you guy's.
To my other friends who shall remain anon I know you guys have been struggling at times, you are only human, your allowed to feel and you are allowed to heal and you mean alot to me and all those who love you, you are loved and respected for who you are and what you do.
I'm still feeling a bit shagged today. Headache is still present, as is nausea. The pouch is still bleeding at times, Im forever unblocking it and well I'm so damn tired. On a positive note, I hope that the A.Bs I'm on kick this infections butt, the Botox works, and my life can go back on track with a positive outlook for the future. I am sure I will bounce back within a few days :)
One thing that I have been thinking about is how differently I am treated compared to other patients in the same situation. After speaking with a fellow Urinary Diversion patient, I realised the inconsistancies in treatment and advice. In comparrision when the other patient had leakage issues, they were taken on their word and operated on without the tests, I was made to go through.
They have exactly the same type of leakage, however I was given a completely different explanation and treatment for mine. They experienced the leakage at the same points as mine, bending, sitting etc, yet infection and the imaginary stone was blamed for mine and bowel activity. Although my operation was a balls up from the word go, I leaked from day one.
On morning rounds on Saturday the Consultant (not my usual surgeon) stated "you had this procedure for the pain", no was my confused reply, "its for the leakage, that I have had since last year" I then wondered what the hell they gave me the Botox for. Were they really not treating the leakage? Did I have this procedure for the symptomatic reflux? I feel I am treated with doubt, yet it is known what the real issue is. I feel as though I am never ever going to be told the truth, I will always be left in the dark. I fear the Hospital so much because of last years huge cockup and effectively being left to die. Yes all patients are different, all bodies react differently.
For example the reason why some Dr's say you treat the symptoms not the blood results is, because many times the blood work does not give a full picture. In cases of chronic infection for example there may not be a dramatic change in markers or W.B.Cs, yet a patient may still be symptomatic.
Medicine is not an exact science. Doctors don't always get it right. Especially if Doctors are treating a patients life experience, rather than their medical condition.