So I started writing. A few people found me and left sweet comments. I kept writing. The comments became more complimentary (Some of them from my sisters mind you. . . but still!)
Something in me protested. Didn't they know I couldn't be very good? After all who was I too even think I could be??
My writing slowed down significantly.
Hormones began a crazy hokey pokey number on my body that lasted for several years, bringing along a serious case of anxiety that refused to leave.
Everyday I thought, "It's time to just close this blog down. What am I doing with it after all?" But I couldn't quite bring myself to do it.
Last July I was diagnosed with skin cancer. It had spread to a lymph node and the day before Halloween I went in for a radical groin dissection and a muscle transfer. I am thankful to say I am now cancer free, (Anxiety free as well, for the most part, which is rather odd isn't it?) although I'm told recovery from surgery will take about a year and some things might not ever be the same.
God is good, as is life and I have been given the realization that God gave me the talents he did to use, not to hide, regardless of whether I felt worthy of them.
So here's the part that needs courage. . . I feel called to write (and create and photograph beautiful things and . . . and . . .) but I also feel called to share what I write. And not just with family and friends. With people I don't know. Maybe even to write more about the things that God is doing in my life. With strangers. . . who might find that offensive. . . gulp!
Whew! Scary stuff. After all, what if people did find me and didn't like what I wrote??
Sorry it got so wordy. ;D I know how precious time is. But thank you for giving me a chance to put things into writing. And for encouraging me with the idea of momentum. I must not let this day pass without another post.
Why is it do you think, that it is so very difficult to share those things closest to our hearts? Because honestly?? The thought of putting this out there for all to see (especially anyone who knows me, with this particular post.) . . . makes me break into a nervous sweat!
And if you've ever seen the commercial . . . you'll know that stress sweat smells much worse than the regular kind!! ;D
*Just because I like to add a pretty picture. . .
Is there anything in your life you need courage for right now?