Sorry for my blogging time out, guys. I’m working on two different projects right now, and I feel a bit like Jessie Spano trying to stay up to study for her exams. Broadway Baby, my almost always Zach Morris, is NOT IN THE DAMN COUNTRY until Sunday, so I have to just continue to mainline caffeine until my Zach can rescue me. It’s not that my other friends won’t, they just won’t do it with the same panache.
I remember being really scared for Jessie. If this show were done today, she’d totally have meth marks all over her face. I mean, she’s smart enough to cook that stuff in her basement without getting caught. Breaking Bad:This Time The Student Is The Teacher.
So, a few notes on the week. Crossfit WOD 13.3 made me want to die, and kill whoever it was who invented “muscle ups”. They suck, and I want to kick them in the nuts or ladyflower.
I did FIVE unassisted. Not in a row or anything, and I may have cried and had a spirit vision, but I did FIVE without rubber band assists. How ya like me now, eighth grade gym teacher?? MISS P!!(ok, to be fair, I became friendly with her after getting drunk together at a piano bar as an adult, and I faked my period A LOT)
NEXT!! I learned the secret to true happiness. It’s not bothering to straighten your fro everyday. I’m not giving up my blowouts, just not doing them every damn day. SUCK IT, MANHATTAN! (friggen blowout obsessed island)
Pizza tastes better in Brooklyn. It’s been confirmed.
Squirrels are fearless assholes that will run straight across your feet. You WILL think it’s a rat, you WILL scream like a banshee, and you may require a change in pants.
It is inevitable that if you go into an ikea right now, you think about giving Seabiscuit’s eulogy at the cafeteria counter, and I will probably say things like “I guess I should saddle-up to the lunch bar” or “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse!”. I will then eat nothing, not even the coffee, which makes little sense.
And now for something completely different.
A Passover Happy Apple Honey Tart that is so good it will make you slap your Bubby.
Apple Honey Tart Kosher for Passover
Apple Honey Tart
by Cat Bowen
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 10 mins + 25 mins
Keywords: bake dessert Passover pie Jewish spring
Ingredients (1 tart)
for the crust
3 matzo crackers
1/2 cup almonds
2 tbsp honey
1/3 cup smooth almond butter
2 tbsp canola oil
for the filling
for the crust
preheat the oven to 375F
pulse matzo and almonds in a food processor until it becomes a flour like consistency
add almond butter, canola, and honey until it forms a ball
press into a greased tart pan with removable bottom, making sure to go all the way up the sides
bake blind (empty) for 10-15 minutes or until dark golden brown on the edges
for the filling
toss the apples with the other ingredients and shingle slices as you see in the picture above
drizzle with more honey
bake for 25-30 minutes or until apples shrink away from the sides