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We Need T and A on the Runway

Posted Feb 08 2013 9:38am

Having a good day, scamps? I am! Well, there was this thing where I realized I needed to increase my b-12 injections, so that’s lame. (read:was told to, ordered, tattooed with instructions, berated by professionals of the field) Stupid damaged duodenum.

BUT!! I learned a new fact that immediately made the filthy jokes burn into my brain in rapid succession.

The crack of a bull-whip is actually a tiny sonic boom. You of course know what this means for every rodeo rider and the great Indiana Jones…great pickup lines.

“you know, I can whip it out faster than the speed of sound.”

“not even the sound barrier is strong enough to hold my whip”

“wanna know what’s long, faster than the speed of sound, and fits in my pants?”

Apart from learning I now have to shoot vitamins in my ass once a week, yesterday was pretty stellar! I spent a leisurely morning at my son’s Lunar New Year pageant, made noodles for lunch to celebrate, and partied like it’s Mercedes Benz Fashion Week here in NYC. (ok, it is MBFW) Pretty boss, right?

Fashion week mostly makes me vom. It is the height of excess and deprivation. Don’t get me wrong, I love clothes. I love fashion. I don’t love 15 year old girls dressed to look like they’re thirty, forced to starve themselves so that they look as though they’re walking clothes hangers.

Everybody’s body is different. Some may be that thin naturally…most are not. My body is VERY different. I am high waisted with super long legs, but also a long torso. I am flat as a board and have a goose’s neck. But damnit, it’s mine. It’s not the traditional “ideal” body type, far from it, but I earned it. I am fortunate enough that apart from weird genetic skin dryness and rosy cheeks, I have pretty good skin, and super thick hair. I am also lucky that even though I hate the freckles that pebble my shoulders, the man loves them. I am NOT where I want to be. I want my boobs to be somewhere other than where they are, (like Maine) and I’d like the skin on my stomach to be smooth. I’d also like a size 8.5/38 foot. I really don’t see that happening unless you cut off my toes. (and then pointy shoes wouldn’t fit) Pretty sure those are essential. I also hate my nose with the fire of 1000 suns, but that is a story for another day. Mostly though, I’m ok with myself. I like my skin and bright eyes and healthy nails. I like that I’m not often sick (read *sick* not *uninjured*) I like that I know that even if I were to be stripped of all the physical aspects of me that I am ok with, I like knowing that I am smart, educated, and talented in other areas. (you can’t see me, but I’m waggling my eyebrows)

These models are being groomed to believe that subsisting off of air, cigarettes, water, and kale is what is normal. They’re being told that unless they disappear when turned sideways, they’re useless. They’re not expected to be intelligent, just pretty. They are purely decorative. What a waste.

I also don’t understand why the most emaciated of women are used to show clothing, when countless studies have shown that the subconscious mind of the male is unerringly drawn to women with fuller hips, rounder rear, and generous bosom. These things signal fertility, which of course, is a biological imperative to the continuation of our species.

It’s a damn mystery. Also? I can tell you from having been super thin, it makes you look older. No bueno.

But being HEALTHY looks damn good. It can also taste damn good. Like for instance the meal I made last night. Chicken Enchilada Pasta Bake. Can I just tell you I could’ve sat over the pan and eaten every last bite? It was THAT good. It was also really affordable, easily made vegetarian, and would freeze like a dream.

I use chobani plain in this recipe again, and before you think I’m simply kissing up, let me tell you I am not. I am really just enamored with using Greek yogurt in recipes, and Chobani is the one I buy. (It goes on sale a LOT at Target and is also available in giant tubs at Costco….thrift, people.) This recipe also uses frozen chopped spinach. If you’ve never incorporated it into your cooking before, you really should. I got a box of organic frozen chopped spinach for $1.50. Like.A.Boss.

Chicken Enchilada Pasta Bake

chicken enchilada pasta bake 3 chicken enchilada pasta bake 5

Chicken Enchilada Pasta Bake

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 25 minutes

Cook Time: 30 minutes

Keywords: bake entree chicken cheese pasta garlic

Ingredients (serves 8)


preheat oven to 350F

cook the pasta al dente in a pot of boiling salted water and set aside

heat oil in a skillet on medium high

cube chicken into bite sized pieces

stir spices in the oil with garlic and onion until fragrant

add in chicken and cook until cooked all the way through.

add remaining ingredients save for cheese and pasta, and stir well, adding the chobani last.

add pasta and toss

taste for seasoning (more tabasco? salt?)

pour into a 13″-9″ dish and top with cheese

bake for 30 minutes, if you’re going to freeze this…DO NOT BAKE

serve with more cilantro, greek yogurt, salsa, etc.

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