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The Pursuit of Assbaggery.

Posted Feb 22 2013 9:09am

I heard something great yesterday, and I simply had to share it.



Yesterday, while talking to the Navajo at Dunkin, we were both waxing poetic about how we both wanted to learn to speak Swedish because the Viking and now the trainer are forever using it, and we’re certain it’s subterfuge. We have all sorts of conspiracy theories about what they’re saying, but we’re both pretty sure it all boils down to “make the Americans’ legs fall off and send them crawling home on stumps” or some other quirky Swedish saying. You don’t think it could be a Swedish saying? Have you not seen one episode of “THE GOLDEN GIRLS”??? The shit they say in St Olaf……

Ok, that has very little to do with my point, but Rose Nyland is friggen funny, and whenever one of the vikings starts talking in Swedish I quote her or…him…

Ok, back to the point. The Navajo and I were also talking about how we were both pretty sure we already speak all the languages we’ll ever speak, and we’ll just have to resign ourselves to talking over them.

Just then, the elderly gentleman in line behind us said “I learned to speak Dutch for my 75th birthday! I figured, I spent time there during the war, and always wanted to learn it, I may as well do it now!” Of course with the Navajo being a Veteran himself, and my grandfather having fought in WWII, we both asked all the polite questions and whatnot. He then went on to say, “Why stop learning new things just because you’re getting older? You’re not going to stop living any sooner just because you’re learning! Live like you’ll die tomorrow, learn like you’ll live forever!”

He was of course right. I felt sort of chagrined for even considering I was too old (in my twenties) to learn a new language. I always seem to be in pursuit of some new form of higher education, why not linguistically? How is it different from tacking on a degree in comparative literature or trying to learn how to use Photoshop? In fact, Swedish MAY be easier than photoshop. So what if the Navajo and I really only know a handful of Swedes, what’s wrong with learning a new language, or how to play the harpsichord, or how to make fresh mozzarella cheese just for the fun of it? Who cares if it’s necessary, it’s NEW.

New is good. Learning? Better. Loving the life you live, and never ceasing in your pursuit of knowledge? Better yet.

Pretending you still don’t understand when the Swedes are talking about you, and responding in kind? The BEST.

Maybe I just like looking for new and awesome means for my smart-assbaggery.

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