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Shaking Your Ass and Slipping In Honey

Posted Jun 04 2012 8:36am

Just in case I needed another reason to love the Miz, she blessed me today with a post, as featured commenter of the month. She is my blogging Yoda.

This week has been a harsh set of realities for me. Life and death, joy and sorrow, way up highs and way down lows. Throughout the whole mess of it, one thing has remained truly and utterly constant; (my ass is still flat as a board no matter how many donkey kicks I do?) my little family rocks. I am always surprised at just how easily a 13 month old and a 4 year old can find joy in the simplest of things, and bring that joy to the Cop and I.

Yesterday, my son had a bit of a sad moment over things that happened in my neck of the woods, and after some cuddling, he looks up and says “you know, if you run in a circle, really fast for a while, you can feel your heart in your head! Did you know your heart could move to your head, Momma? It can, I can FEEL it there.” Did I tell him that he might just be excited and dizzy? Hell no. If I did that, I’d miss the “spin in a circle until I look like a drunken frat boy” dance.

The Peanut warms an entire room with her smile. It is so genuine, and so sweet, it is like that first bite of peach pie in the summer, warm and sunshine-y. There isn’t a thing she doesn’t laugh at; her brother, bath time, Elmo, my tendency to gulp too hot coffee and then scream like a little bitch….oh wait, maybe I’ll have to train her not to laugh at me in public. Can’t have your children laughing at you in public, you know, unless you accidentally have a part of your romper short tied up with your belt…not that it happened to me last week….not that my ass was in full view of an all boys Yeshiva…

The thing is, sometimes, as a grown up, I forget how effing funny some of the little things are. I am often so bogged down in my own reality. I don’t notice how hysterical it is that I am now doing bear crawls for exercise, looking pretty much a fool, instead of doing bear crawls for the very purpose of pretending to be a bear. Hell, I even try to jump rope now and again. Do you know how bad I suck at that? I’ve NEVER been good at it, but it’s always been FUN. The Miz often talks about “play-outs”. They sound so silly and simple, but damnit if that isn’t exactly what we need to get the adult sized stick out of our asses sometimes. (Though, depending on how long said stick has been there, you may need an adult sized diaper after you remove it. )

But seriously, How killer would it be if I wore a bear skin or suit to the gym and did the crawls? Or at least a Winnie the Pooh costume.

I'm only crawling for the honeys.

To be fair, I have dressed up as Jane Fonda for Jazzercise…

Speaking of people who are often considered bananas…How about some healthy fried plantains? (see what I just did there?) They are IN SEASON!! They are a great substitute for rice or potatoes, or even a bread-y side dish. Naturally gluten-free, this recipe goes GREAT with some spicy pork loin, shrimp, or super spicy black beans. If you have kids, quadruple this recipe, because they tend to eat all the plantains off of their plate, and then move on to yours. Pint sized thieves.

Healthy Fried Plantains

by Cat Tan

Keywords: fry appetizer side gluten-free kosher low-sodium vegan vegetarian summer



peel and thinly slice the plantains

in a large skillet, heat the oils on medium-high

add in the plantains in a single layer

fry on both sides until starting to darken

stir in salt and syrup


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Most ridiculous gym move other than a bear crawl?

Can you jump rope or double dutch?

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