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Middle Aged with Tiny Tater Tots

Posted Sep 13 2012 9:58am

New Yorkers are great. Really. I’m not just saying this because I happen to be one. I am constantly amazed at how generous and weird the people of my city are. I am hardly surprised anymore, living here can do that to you. I am, however, happily and consistently reminded that I live in one of the greatest cities in the world.

We New Yorkers are known for being brash, loud, avant garde, snooty, social climbing, and judgmental. I assure you, this encompasses only a tiny portion of our 10mil+ citizens. Yes, if you try to get your kid in the 92stY pre-k, you’re quickly going to wish that you lived on a tiny desert island full of knives you could throw at anyone who dare approaches. Those people, do NOT represent my city. If you want to be a social climbing status whore, you know where to look. *hint, if you see someone with a stack of preschool apps a mile high on their bookshelf, right next to several volumes on social etiquette, and not a single Steinbeck or Christie to be found? You have yourself a winner.

Most New Yorkers, especially those in the rims of the outer boroughs, are simply fantastic. Just yesterday I saw, a GIGANTIC dude; seriously, he looked like he could’ve been a lineman for the Jets, rescue a TINY dog for a woman. The poor pup had run straight across a very, very busy street near Brooklyn College. This guy pretty much gave traffic the finger, held up his huge hand to the cars, and rescued the tiny mongrel. He then gently returned it to the very grateful elderly woman, who kissed his huge, bald head.

Not long after the curious incident of the dog in the noontime, I went to stalk my Gaysian, who was lecturing outside our fair city. His TA, who also resides in our fair city, offered to drive another TA, with whom he rarely has cause to interact with, all the way to SOUTH Jersey, since his car decided that it was a good day to die. Before you ask, the TA is decidedly NOT gay. I know because I asked. He’s super pretty, so I was pretty sure he batted for my Gaysian’s team. It turns out even straight men can desire a doctorate in the Romantics….who knew? (You have no idea how loudly my “who can I set this guy up with?” radar went off. He’s 32, getting a doctorate, oh so purty, and generous….text me later ladies.)

One final fantastic act of goodwill was bestowed upon ME whilst I was at the gym. I wanted to use the open weight bench, and it was completely loaded down with weights I didn’t have a politician’s chance in Heaven’s of de-vesting of its poundage. As I was looking at it, pondering my own super-strength, a kid of about 18 came over and offered to help. He was also muttering about “asshole old men who don’t put away the shit they get out…my mom would kill me…I bet their moms are dead, though.”

I replied with what was only appropriate; “If I was their mom, I’d kill myself, so you’re probably right. Thank you.” For some reason, the upper middle aged juicers always seem to be the biggest assholes. I think it’s what the juice does to their balls. Just saying.

The people of my city have me inspired. I want to make people’s days/lives better. I think we all should. We need to care for ourselves, yes, but how we treat others is a huge reflection on how we love ourselves. It is so easy to quarantine yourself. It is often the simplest route to put blinders on and go about life in a bubble with a disaffected attitude. That doesn’t make us better people, and it won’t make you happy. Do unto others, and all that rot…which is actually pretty true. We’re all guilty of ignoring the issues in front of us, and going about our day. I am really going to challenge myself to help MORE where I can, while still tending to me. I’m pretty sure it can be done.

On to food. Always food.

This recipe is so delicious, and so simple, you’re going to chide yourself for not thinking of it.

Pancake stuffed apple, drizzled with salted caramel.


AKA salted caramel pancake stuffed apple

Did I mention these are made in the microwave? Oh yeah…the are apple mug muffins. Could you die!!??

Salted Caramel Pancake Stuffed Apple

by Cat Tan

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 15 minutes

Ingredients (8-10 apples)


hollow out the apples and microwave apples on a plate, empty, for 2 minutes to soften

fill each apple 3/4 way to the top with pancake batter

microwave each apple for 2 minutes

drizzle with caramel, top with butter or coconut oil or more caramel


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