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It’s My Manifesto

Posted Dec 14 2012 11:27am

I am feeling SO much better. I still sound like like I’ve been doing cigarette and whisky chasers for the past forty years, but I can *mostly* breathe, and my head feels pounds and pounds lighter.

This is where I should say something profound like “you never really appreciate your health until it’s gone”, but nahhhh. Instead I’ll say I’m grateful for tylenol cold and flu, gay men who bring me soup, hot tea sent to me from besties , trips to see Santa that don’t end in tears..

(you should probs right click that pic to see what I named it)

I’m also so grateful for a man who lets me sleep in, even if he knows I’m high as a kite on ambien and lets me eat a GIANT bowl of soup with an ENTIRE packet of wonton strips in it….an entire packet. He also said he wouldn’t make out with me, but we could “totally pretend he’s a male hooker who doesn’t kiss on the mouth.” This is what I deal with, people.  If you don’t follow me on instagram, you should..because sometimes I instagram my weird text messages.

The weirdest part with ambien is that you have about 10 minutes where you’re able to converse, yet realize you’re totally high, and don’t give a damn. This is what I refer to as the “trouble zone”. You’re tempted to do things like eat a stick of butter, or text your high school frenemy and tell her your ass looks better.

This happens….

That last text reads “Oh G-d, I’m crying over what I text you last night”.

Don’t you wish I had your # so I could text you fun stuff like that?


It’s friday, which typically means “no recipe” but since I deprived you of healthy deliciousness yesterday, I’m making up for it. Christmas party noshes do NOT have to be layered with mayonnaise, cream cheese, ass fat, and guilt. You can make DELICIOUS, BEAUTIFUL noshes that are healthy and delicious. This is one of them.

I was going to call it “holiday hummus” because of the colors, but then you wouldn’t know what was in it.

Cilantro Jalapeno Hummus


Cilantro Jalapeno Hummus

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Keywords: blender appetizer condiment side soup/stew kosher low-carb low-sodium nut-free soy-free sugar-free vegan vegetarian

Ingredients (2 cups)

1, 15.5 oz can of chickpeas, drained and rinsed juice of 1 lemon 1 tbsp tahini 1 1/2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 2 tbsp chopped pickled jalapenos in their pickling liquid salt and pepper

for the topping


blend all of the hummus ingredients in a blender or food pro

put it in a bowl,

clean the food processor

add all the topping ingredients save for cholula


top the hummus with the cilantro mix and add cholula

serve with VEGGIES

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