Often times if things aren't on the up and up, I won't come post on the blog. I don't know, I guess I have a thing about not being too negative here and of course, being careful about what I put out there on the Internet. I'm not sure though, if I don't post about the difficulties and the challenges am I still being authentic? Am I keeping true to my voice when I don't?
So, here goes... it's all about keepin' it real.
I'm tired. Both literally and figuratively. Just yesterday I tweeted that I feel depleted and empty, which continues to be the most accurate assessment of how I feel.
My body is unhappy, I don't think the bronchitis is completely out of my system. I'm still having breathing problems. I had a chest x-ray earlier this week and didn't hear back from my doctor, so the assumption is that no news is good news. However, I'll be calling again in the morning. Along with the breathing problems, my joints and my muscles are achy. Stress is assaulting my body.
Stress is depleting my energy. I don't have it in me to deal with anyone else's problems. I barely have the energy to deal with my own stuff - my health, parenting, end of the kids' school year activities and so on. I really don't have the energy to deal with what's going on with anyone else.
I keep trying though. I keep trying to be proactive with my health. I keep trying to be patient and present for everyone who I have to be those things for. I keep trying to meet my obligations and there are some I've had to set aside but it will work out. I know that as long as I keep trying then I'm still doing ok.
It's when I stop trying that I worry. I've been in the deep dark hole of depression before and it's an awful place to be. So even when I feel like I've been feeling the past couple of days I know that as long I'm still seeing at least the tiniest bit of light at the end of the tunnel I'm still doing okay. Some days I have to look a bit harder than others.
So, here goes... it's all about keepin' it real.
I'm tired. Both literally and figuratively. Just yesterday I tweeted that I feel depleted and empty, which continues to be the most accurate assessment of how I feel.
My body is unhappy, I don't think the bronchitis is completely out of my system. I'm still having breathing problems. I had a chest x-ray earlier this week and didn't hear back from my doctor, so the assumption is that no news is good news. However, I'll be calling again in the morning. Along with the breathing problems, my joints and my muscles are achy. Stress is assaulting my body.
Stress is depleting my energy. I don't have it in me to deal with anyone else's problems. I barely have the energy to deal with my own stuff - my health, parenting, end of the kids' school year activities and so on. I really don't have the energy to deal with what's going on with anyone else.
I keep trying though. I keep trying to be proactive with my health. I keep trying to be patient and present for everyone who I have to be those things for. I keep trying to meet my obligations and there are some I've had to set aside but it will work out. I know that as long as I keep trying then I'm still doing ok.
It's when I stop trying that I worry. I've been in the deep dark hole of depression before and it's an awful place to be. So even when I feel like I've been feeling the past couple of days I know that as long I'm still seeing at least the tiniest bit of light at the end of the tunnel I'm still doing okay. Some days I have to look a bit harder than others.