I have never done that before. I have never even considered divorce no matter how difficult things have been. But for one week I did. I thought I had reached the last straw in a situation that I let burn in my brain for 12 years. I let my thoughts and my plans consume my brain constantly.
I thought about everything from where we would live, who would get the kids, how we would handle bills like homeschool and dance classes. I thought about holidays and how we would figure those out. I thought about selling our house and our neighbors and the kids friends.
I thought about how we would tell the kids, how they would handle it, how they would react. I thought about what our families would say and how we would tell them. I thought about what our church family would say.
I thought about every single thing in my life………… My life, I thought, me, me, me, me………………………..I thought about my self, my flesh, my anger, what I wanted, how I wanted my life.
I thought about everything except………what would God think………….what would God want…..what would God say….. what would I say to God.
I didn’t pray for one week. I didn’t have quiet time for one week. I lived in the world for one week.
But then something made me pray………I prayed for direction, I prayed for truth, I prayed to get Satan and his thoughts out of the way. I prayed for my husband, for my children, and for me.
And then something happened………………………
the VOICE came.
HE gave me time to sit and wallow in my own pity party and flesh thoughts. HE gave me time to figure out my plan and my life.
But then HE stepped in………………as soon as I prayed………….HE stepped in and HE spoke to me
and HE spoke to me some more.
And I prayed more and more and more.
HE told me his plan for my life and my marriage.
And that was the last week I gave up on my marriage.
Satan will come and invade your thoughts as soon as you quick talking to God. He is waiting to pounce like a cat when it sees a mouse. He hates prayer. He hates our relationship with our Father. He hates biblical marriage. He hates that we follow God’s plan and not our own.
You must keep praying and you must fit quiet time in to every day that you have because if you don’t……………..you may give up on your marriage too.
Something that has helped me is being part of the Hello Mornings and Good Morning Girls communities. I have dear online friends that I never knew before. They are praying for me and holding me accountable for my quiet time. You may consider joining next time if you need this accountability. Even if you don’t, you will find fellowship and new friends that are like minded and those friends will soon become old and dear friends and sisters in Christ.
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.