Tomorrow is my second, and hopefully last, exam to determine whether I am so decrepit I must, essentially, become a ward of the state.
When I found out I was to have the test, two cinder blocks immediately were stacked one on another atop my ribcage.
So for weeks my muscles have been weakening until now my lungs only can inflate enough to take in as much air as is held in two of the empty pill bottles (one for each lung) I've kept in a drawer I'm about to pour on the floor so I can make a list of most of the the meds I've previously taken.
For the MD examining me I also will need to list all current and past treatments (like trigger-point injections), ailments that accompany the pain of fibro (like chronic fatigue) -- anything I can think of... Though I won't be able to get everything down.
(I know I've written something quite similar to this post before. But hell, I'm padding my blog -- I admit it... Plus I haven't read my own stuff in a while and recall my previous pieces as corpses in need of a Dr Frankenstein. ...And I'm not referring just to the recent stuff.)
I'm afraid to tell the whole truth and nothing but to the doc tomorrow because it's going to sound like I'm horribly inflating my case.
But I'll be truthful anyway... But be sure to let the MD know it's going to seem like I'm padding -- the way I'm padding the blog right now.
[UPDATE! -- written after initial post]
My analogy using cinder blocks was stupid: It only works if I've been lying down ever since I found out about my appointment... And I've had to walk to the bathroom a few times since then.
So how about this: Since then a daily-tightening rubber band has surrounded me from armpits to floating ribs.
Or how about this: Screw the analogies. I've been increasingly anxious ever since the letter, and now I'm in such a panic I barely can breathe.
Tomorrow will decide how I live the rest of my life.
dear shelley. honey, i hear what you are saying, i have had fibro since i was 30 - today i am 63 years old. please excuse no caps, punctuation, etc. i have to type with one finger - used to type 85 wpm. it took me 10 years to get diagnosed. i decided i would work and sleep until i got a diagnoisis, get the prob fixed then get back to my life. it never occurred to me that the prob was unfixable. i finally got on disability in 1998 because the sleeping when i was not working was not getting it anymore. does it get worse - hate to tell you but yes it does. i have numerous other probs now. was in the hospital 2 and 1/2 months 3 years ago. i was found unconscience on the floor after 3 days and don't remember much of the hospital stay i was totally alone. so i just wanted to give you a little history about an illness that a lot of people don't believe in. i do take pain meds but they only help enough to allow me a little bit of life. i am in bed 98 percent of the time. good luck to you, it is hard to find a doctor that believes you. i have to travel 45 miles to get to my doctor and i don't know what i would without him. i still don't know if i have been diagnosed properly, but after 10 years i grabbed on to the name like a drowning woman for having something that was all in my head. i am sure you have had similar experiences. best of luck to you, everything you said is spot on. mad.hatter
I want to say from Texas, Bless your heart and good freaking luck! I am on disability, because of Fibromyalgia and other add on diseases. I hope it is evident to your favor. One word of advice... SHOW THEM your illness... even if it is a BAD day. Not saying fake it, but say, SHOW THEM your illness! Hope it all goes well! It is a terrible disease, and in spite of what research says, my has gotten progressively worse, with pain that can leave me useless for days at a time. Break-through pain, where there is no pain to make me comfortable. Bless you... Good luck!
Hi, Our son-in-law, late 20s, has had fybromyalgia & is on a sickness benifit, but has improved over the last year or more.. stopped ALL diet drinks, lost weight, ate better, and is generally happier. I will contact him, Michegan, USA, and see if he would email you. My email is
firstname.lastname@example.org You WILL get over it... you WILL feel better. REV