Photo by Mr. Bubba
This past week has been filled with endings and new beginnings.
Mr. Snugglebunny attended his very last day of preschool.... ever. His school had a graduation ceremony, complete with cap & gown, Pomp and Circumstance, the whole 9 yards. He led everyone in saying the Pledge of Allegiance. When he received his diploma he said, "When I grow up I want to be a rock star." He assured me later that he still wants to be a paleontologist, he wants to do both. My 5 year old knows how to use the word paleontologist and can define it accurately. He's told a lot of adults that he wants to be a paleontologist and they follow up with "What's that?" His response, "A scientist that discovers dinosaur bones." with a hint of "Duh" in his voice.
We attended Kindergarten Back to School night. The kids' school has it one week before school starts so the kids can meet the teacher, see the classroom, explore their cubbies and other areas of the classroom to decrease their anxiety about the first day of school.
So this week, I will face the reality that my kids are growing up very clearly. Mr. Skinny will be starting 8th grade... in his full teenage glory. He's a teenager, and after this school year he'll be going to high school.... when did this happen? I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. And Mr. Snugglebunny will go to Kindergarten, a milestone that means that he is no longer mine, he will be influenced by school and all the other kids in a different way than he has been up until now. He's asking different questions than he did just weeks ago... and has the ability to fully grasp and understand more complex answers.
Mr. Bubba also started a new school year, now in a different role. Eight years ago he was a Social Science teacher, after a few years he was the Social Science Department Chair, and this year he begins his duties as the Dean. He has the perfect personality to be the Dean. He doesn't take crap from the kids. He has expectations of them, they know it and they don't mess with him. He is known not to smile with the kids. He can start a riot by simply smiling or laughing around the kids. Along with this comes the change in schedule, in responsibilities and in how much more attention school will demand of him and for all of us to adjust to that.
Exactly one week ago I had the privilege to be present at the birth of a beautiful baby boy as part of my birth doula work. To be present at someone's birth is truly an honor and a privilege. It is an amazing experience that is difficult to describe and it is so different from my experience when my kids were born. The joy and fulfillment that I felt the moment the little baby was born is indescribable. A new light has entered the world and we don't know if he will be someone to change all of this. Every time a baby is born, my hope is renewed. My hope that they may be able to create a difference, to create a different reality than the one we've been living. That maybe there will be equality amongst gender, race, sexuality, beliefs, ability/disability. That maybe they may bring with them a cure for cancer, HIV or any of the other diseases that affect so many people. That maybe they bring with them an answer for the economic state of the world or for the state of the Earth and its natural resources. I know that this baby boy will forever change the life of his parents and has already touched my life. I wonder how many people he'll be able to reach... and if he'll want to be a rock star or a paleontologist.
In some ways this is a new beginning for me also. The beginning of launching my new life, being my own boss, doing work that I love to do and that I can feel honored doing. Work that fills me with hope and positivity instead of work that is draining and can be toxic. I don't want to be a therapist anymore - my identity as a social worker had always been more of a case manager anyways. I've never been attached to the idea of becoming licensed. That's just what everyone else told me I had to do - because that's what we should all do or because I'm a damn good therapist or because I can make more money doing it or because I can help so many people, people from my community. So with that being said I let go of the feelings of obligation to be a therapist, the feelings of guilt and shame at not wanting to be a therapist and I open space in my life to allow other things to come in.
I have been discovering quite a few things about myself recently and know that these things will lead me to something different than what is right now. Will you join me for the ride?
This past week has been filled with endings and new beginnings.
Mr. Snugglebunny attended his very last day of preschool.... ever. His school had a graduation ceremony, complete with cap & gown, Pomp and Circumstance, the whole 9 yards. He led everyone in saying the Pledge of Allegiance. When he received his diploma he said, "When I grow up I want to be a rock star." He assured me later that he still wants to be a paleontologist, he wants to do both. My 5 year old knows how to use the word paleontologist and can define it accurately. He's told a lot of adults that he wants to be a paleontologist and they follow up with "What's that?" His response, "A scientist that discovers dinosaur bones." with a hint of "Duh" in his voice.
We attended Kindergarten Back to School night. The kids' school has it one week before school starts so the kids can meet the teacher, see the classroom, explore their cubbies and other areas of the classroom to decrease their anxiety about the first day of school.
So this week, I will face the reality that my kids are growing up very clearly. Mr. Skinny will be starting 8th grade... in his full teenage glory. He's a teenager, and after this school year he'll be going to high school.... when did this happen? I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. And Mr. Snugglebunny will go to Kindergarten, a milestone that means that he is no longer mine, he will be influenced by school and all the other kids in a different way than he has been up until now. He's asking different questions than he did just weeks ago... and has the ability to fully grasp and understand more complex answers.
Mr. Bubba also started a new school year, now in a different role. Eight years ago he was a Social Science teacher, after a few years he was the Social Science Department Chair, and this year he begins his duties as the Dean. He has the perfect personality to be the Dean. He doesn't take crap from the kids. He has expectations of them, they know it and they don't mess with him. He is known not to smile with the kids. He can start a riot by simply smiling or laughing around the kids. Along with this comes the change in schedule, in responsibilities and in how much more attention school will demand of him and for all of us to adjust to that.
Exactly one week ago I had the privilege to be present at the birth of a beautiful baby boy as part of my birth doula work. To be present at someone's birth is truly an honor and a privilege. It is an amazing experience that is difficult to describe and it is so different from my experience when my kids were born. The joy and fulfillment that I felt the moment the little baby was born is indescribable. A new light has entered the world and we don't know if he will be someone to change all of this. Every time a baby is born, my hope is renewed. My hope that they may be able to create a difference, to create a different reality than the one we've been living. That maybe there will be equality amongst gender, race, sexuality, beliefs, ability/disability. That maybe they may bring with them a cure for cancer, HIV or any of the other diseases that affect so many people. That maybe they bring with them an answer for the economic state of the world or for the state of the Earth and its natural resources. I know that this baby boy will forever change the life of his parents and has already touched my life. I wonder how many people he'll be able to reach... and if he'll want to be a rock star or a paleontologist.
In some ways this is a new beginning for me also. The beginning of launching my new life, being my own boss, doing work that I love to do and that I can feel honored doing. Work that fills me with hope and positivity instead of work that is draining and can be toxic. I don't want to be a therapist anymore - my identity as a social worker had always been more of a case manager anyways. I've never been attached to the idea of becoming licensed. That's just what everyone else told me I had to do - because that's what we should all do or because I'm a damn good therapist or because I can make more money doing it or because I can help so many people, people from my community. So with that being said I let go of the feelings of obligation to be a therapist, the feelings of guilt and shame at not wanting to be a therapist and I open space in my life to allow other things to come in.
I have been discovering quite a few things about myself recently and know that these things will lead me to something different than what is right now. Will you join me for the ride?