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Boxing Day at our House

Posted Dec 29 2008 4:43pm
The Christmas Eve Feast

At least I wish we could trade places in our house. Of course, we have no servants, so we'd have to swap with the cats and let them take care of us for the day. I've even worked out what they could do for work based on their habits and hobbies.

Neko (Senior Citizen and Semi-Retired): most suited to be a computer hacker. After all, Wednesday he laid on my keyboard, and somehow with his chin and paws opened the "My Pictures" file and searched for the document entitled "bhht6666(. . .lots of 6's here. . .)6666". I interrupted him before he crashed my system.
Other appropriate jobs include: personal secretary, greeter for Walmart, teacher, shoe salesman (he loves 'em), mattress tester and data entry specialist.

Bailey (poor interpersonal skills so no heavy social interactions): most suited to be a food critic, as she regularly requests tastes of our meals before they are finished cooking.
Also could work as: dishwasher, librarian (she sneaks in as often as possible), CPA (helps hold down envelopes at bill-paying time), or animal control officer (specialty: birds).

Aries (very confident; should be dressed as a '70's disco dancer): most suited to be a mob enforcer. Does not work well with others or in teams but very good at bullying. Will even kick himself if no one else volunteers!
Also suited for work as: bouncer, petty thief, bath attendant, masseuse (not to be confused with a legitimate massage therapist!), third world dictator.

Hephzibah (maternal, strong communication skills): most suited to be a Super Nanny. Spends considerable time following me around telling me how to behave, when to sit down and when to go to bed, specializing in stories and lullabies at bedtime.
Also could take work as: nurse, house mother, shepherd, director of guest relations, recycling engineer (specialty: cardboard boxes), special forces assassin (specialty: bed mice), martial arts practitioner (lazy cat fu).

Cheetah (still looking for her niche but with many interests): most suited to be a yoga instructor. She has long graceful limbs and makes amazing curled shapes with her tail.
If this doesn't keep her interest, she could also pursue work as: sanitation supervisor, customs agent (specialty: groceries), typist, water meter reader, assistant aquarium keeper, au pair (in training for nanny work), pest control specialist (specialty: crickets).

Velcro (strong social skills with cats and people alike): most suited to be a hairdresser. Her first toy is still her favorite and it grows from my scalp. She is gentle and has yet to yank any out as she combs it through her claws.
Her other interests would make her good as: assisted living attendant, quality control inspector, toll collector, laundress, receptionist.

If the cats have to work, Smokey the cockatiel can, too. He has two areas at which he excels: security and entertainment. He could either work on stage in Las Vegas or in security for the casinos.

So I'll just lay back now and wait for them to start bringing home the bacon, now, okay?

Oops, Boxing Day is already over. Too late!
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