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You May Call Me Sweaty Betty

Posted Jan 07 2009 5:11pm
Is that back sweat or did you sire a turtle?

My body has a very efficient cooling system. At the first sign of a road race or a rack of weights my pores open right up and sweat starts shooting out. Literally. I've been known to soak my shirt so completely that it changes color - like one of those Hypercolor shirts that were so cool in the '80s until girls everywhere realized we were being taken advantage of (if you are too young or were too nerdy in the 80's to have one, click here to see what the problem was ). You should see the puddles I leave when I do pushups or plank. I'm a Gatorade commercial except my sweat isn't blue. And you can't drink it.

All of which is fine and good. The experts say that sweating easily and profusely during exercise is actually a sign of good physical fitness. My problem is that my body can't tell the difference between a 5K and a 5-year-old chasing his brother with a shiv he fashioned out of toothpicks. At his daddy's grad school party. (In my defense, the invitation said children were invited! How was I to know that he is the only graduate student old enough to grow facial hair, much less procreate?)

I've tried all kinds of deodorants, including clinical strength - which not only did not stop my sweating but also made me smell like a dude. Nothing says high intensity intervals like Old Spice. So I gave up fighting my sweat. Don't worry, I'm not Matthew McConnaughey, I still wear deodorant but I'm not convinced it does much for me. For it to be really effective, I'd have to apply it head to toe. And I'm just not willing to go to the gym looking like I've been beaten up by a pack of gymnasts fresh off their uneven bar routines.

Now my strategy is to buy my workout tops at thrift stores. I get mostly cheap cotton tank tops for a buck (two if they're fancy!) and then pit those suckers out. Once I can't get the smell out in the wash, I chuck them guilt-free. This worked well until I started acquiring a few high-quality tops that I really like. I have a Danskin one and a couple from Nike and a few others that are all high-tech and sweat-wicking (note: not sweat stopping) and are in colors that compliment my cardio flush. I would like to keep them. Not to mention that it has taken many shopping hours to find a couple of sports bras that both enhance what I (haven't) got and keep the girls from heading in opposite directions. It is a conundrum.

Cue the field of fresh flowers and woman in a generic white dress. (At this point it could be almost anything! Toothpaste? Tampon? Tickle Me Elmo?) Enter ProWash Active Detergent. I never thought I'd be one of those women that washes her workout clothes separately but when you consider I probably spend more time in them than I do any of my soccer-mom-that-occasionally-frequents-Hot-Topic clothes, then it kinda makes sense. Plus, one of my kids once refused to wear a shirt that he swore smelled like "you know, that icky smell you have when you look like you've taken a shower but you haven't?" A lthough we all know that one works both ways!

Friday's Great Fitness Experiment Giveaway: ProWash Active Detergent
To enter to win a bottle of athletic detergent so that you too can save those pricey workout duds, leave me a comment below telling me how you sweat. Do you get all red but never actually perspire? Are you one of those girls who manages to stay cool and pale as she effortlessly dances through class? Or do you fling sweat off the end of your ponytail like a human St. Bernard?

Don't forget: Tonight at midnight is the deadline for ALL the contests! So if you haven't yet, go enter to win a VitaMix blender, " The Complete Beck Diet for Life", Core Rhythms DVD Set, the Experience Life magazine subscription, and of course the ProWash detergent. Winners will be announced tomorrow. Next week I will return to our regularly scheduled programming with a wrap-up of the Karate Experiment (preview: one of the best ones I've done yet!) and January's Great Fitness Experiment.

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