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Morning Cup of Vomiting In My Mouth (Cans of Soup Get You Strong!!!)

Posted Jul 31 2009 9:31am

During my 35-40 minute drive (both ways) to work everyday, if I’m not getting my Louie DeVito on, I’m usually listening to one of my favorite talk radio stations- 96.9 WTKK, Boston’s Talk Evolution.  In particular, I often listen to Michele McPhee and her Outrage of the Day.  Granted she hasn’t updated her blog in a while (you can easily find her on Facebook, however), but every night Michele will do what can only be described as passing a kidney stone while she goes off on whatever she’s outraged about that day.

Similarly, I too have instances during the week where I’m outraged.  Accept in my case, I tend to have an uncontrollable urge to throw a chainsaw at someone’s head for saying, writing, or doing something stupid.

You know, stuff like this:

Is it me, or is that guy’s ACL crying?  Nope, that’s just my soul.

Anyways, I started the Morning Cup of Vomiting in My Mouth as a tribute to McPhee’s Outrage of the Day.  It’s been a while since the last installment, so lets get right to it.

A friend of mine (Joey Taraborelli, a strength coach located near Providence, Rhode Island) sent me this link to an article last week.  Long story short, a woman approached him to see if he would be willing to go over her strength training schedule as she prepares for her first half-marathon.  She handed Joey the article (linked above), and needless to say, he was awestruck at how awful the information was.  To quote him:

After you pee your pants laughing, you might want to include this as a blog next week about all these runners getting atrocious advice from these so-called “strength training for runners” experts.

In the article’s defense, it is a bit outdated (circa 2000), and the author does touch upon some valid points that I completely agree with.  Specifically:

1.  Runners need to improve their speed- that is to say, it’s not about who can go the longest; it’s about who can finish the race the fastest.

2.  Runners should incorporate strength training as part of their routine- I’ve actually done two interviews on this topic, HERE and HERE.

Um, that’s about it.  The rest of the article, sadly, just goes on to perpetuate many of the common exercise myths that one would expect to hear from an article sub-titled All You Need For Strength is a Can of Soup.

Some of my favorites:

  • Low weight, high reps so you don’t get big and bulky.  Of course, because adding muscle is so easy- especially when you’re running upwards of 20-30 miles per week.  Idiot.
  • “The worst mistake you can make while lifting is holding your breath.”  Really?  Ever heard of the Valsalva maneuver?  Granted, I recognize the target audience for this article aren’t going to be doing max effort deadlifts any time soon, but this is an awfully broad blanket statement to make.  That’s like me saying “any woman who’s name starts with Tracy and ends with Anderson is a dirty pirate hooker.”  Accept in this case, it’s completely true.
  • How is it that five out of the six “spectacular strength exercises for runners” focus on the upper body?  Correct me if I’m wrong, but runners run with their legs, right?
  • Moreover, the row variation shown in the article is just laughable.  Seriously, W to the TF.
  • And do I really have to explain, again, why I’m not a fan of crunches?

I’m sure I could go through again and pick out 22 more things that are equally vomit worthy, but I don’t want to beat a horse while it’s down.  Besides, I have like ten minutes before athletes are going to walk through the door, and I have to put my pants on.  Or do I?  On that note, have an awesome weekend everyone!

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