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Miscellaneous Miscellany Monday (Two Interns and a Tony, Playlists, and Snake-Eyes)

Posted Feb 02 2009 10:44pm

1. Having interns obviously has its advantages. On one hand, I never get tired of telling them to go clean something. Excuse me for a second. *puts down salami sandwich* “Um, Intern Mike, my car isn’t going to miraculously clean itself now is it? Oh, and the oil needs to be changed.”

On the other hand, it’s always great to be able to talk shop and discuss stuff. More often than not, it ends up being a learning experience for me as well. Just the other day we got on the topic of corrective exercise, and how many trainers tend to approach it the wrong way.

As an example, it’s a safe bet that most (if not all) kinetic dysfunctions in the body can be attributed to crap going on in the hips. We’re a society that sits on our rumps all day, and as a result, our hips end up tighter than a camel’s ass in a sandstorm. As such, there’s been a lot of research based evidence that glute medius function (or lack thereof) has a direct correlation to anterior knee pain. True.

However, as Gray Cook and Brett Jones noted in their dvd Secrets of the Hips and Knees, you can’t isolate the hips into health. Their contention (to which I agree) is that we need to be more cognizant of improving movement patterns, and not just focus on activating muscles. Simply put, improve the movement pattern, and the muscle will be forced to “turn on” and function.

Unfortunately, many trainers will just have their clients do some x-band walks and call it a day.

This isn’t necessarily wrong, it’s just incomplete. Remember, you can’t isolate the hips into health. Sticking with the above example, the glute medius is going to have a different “function” depending on whether or not someone is in a symmetrical stance (think squat), a staggered stance (think lunge), or single leg stance (sprint, one-legged squat, etc). Hence, why it’s so important to train movement patterns, and not just focusing on isolating any one particular muscle when dealing with corrective exercise.

2. Learn to pick your battles. I used to like to argue with other trainers and try to prove them wrong. It’s dumb. Save your breath, trust me. Unless someone specifically asks for your opinion, just keep your mouth shut. We have two ears and one mouth, so use them in that order.

3. I made a new playlist on my iPod called “When Hip Hop Didn’t Suck,” which consists of nothing but songs from the 1990’s (Tribe Called Quest, Biggie, Mobb Deep, Nas, Naughty by Nature, etc). It’s pretty much the most awesome playlist ever made. And since I’ve been in a nostalgic mood as of late, I think I’ll make another playlist called: “Party of Five: Dammit Bailey. You’re Such An Idiot for Breaking Up With Sarah. Why why why???? You Two Were So Perfect For Each Other!!!11!111! Ahhhhhhhh.” [Cue In Your Eyes by Pete Gabriel]

4. Adding more weight to the bar in order to get depth on a squat isn’t necessarily a good thing.

5 It’s pretty much a given fact that it’s impossible for people to be objective about guesstimating what their body fat levels are . If you can’t see your abs, you’re NOT 10% body-fat. Quit trying to kid yourself, fatty.

6. Seriously, how hot is Krystal Forscutt. This hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! James will undoubtedly go down as one of the best interns ever for bringing her to my attention.

7. I received an e-mail the other day from someone who has been doing a 5×5 program for the past few months, and was curious as to what he should do afterwards? Outside of suggesting that he change up his main movements for the next few weeks (example: replace conventional deadlifts with trap bar deadlifts), I didn’t really have much to offer. I mean, he was happy with the program, lifts were going up, and he was having fun, so my rationale was “why fix what isn’t broken?”

I think people tend to suffer from program ADD anyways; constantly switching from one program to another, and as a result…….never really making much progress. One of the best pieces of advice I can suggest is to try to develop a training philosophy. If you like to lift heavy shit, then follow programs that make you lift heavy shit. If you want to look like an emaciated alien from the planet Vomit in my Mouth, then follow programs by Tracy Anderson. ZING!!!

Come up with a “philosophy,” and soon enough you’ll learn to design programs with a template in mind and you won’t have to worry about which program to follow.

8. I’m sitting here in the office watching THIS TRAILER for the new live action GI Joe movie coming out this summer. Needless to say, I’ve already started making my homemade Snake-Eyes costume to wear to the premiere, which will undoubtedly not get me laid for the foreseeable future. Gooooooooooooo Joe!!!

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