I love Shirleybut sometimes she does things that are not just rottenthey pretty much amount to cruel and unusual punishment. She is always singing or humming songs. Sometimes it’s a wonderful classicbut sometimes it’s a trite commercial that she grew up listening to. And sometimes it’s something as awful as a Captain and Tennille song (and if you don’t know who they are think yourself fortunate).
On those days I end up walking around with that darn song stuck in my headreverberating endlessly. “Muskrat SuzieMuskrat SamDo the jitterbug at a Muskrat land.” What the hell does that mean anyway.
Now she’s gone one worse. She recently gave me a book called “One Minute Brainteasers“. It’s a collection of puzzles and problems to test your IQ. It’s like crack cocaine for the brain. Once you start it’s hard to put it down. And even if you dothe teasers that you weren’t able to solve keep running through your brain every day. It drives you crazy.
For instancethere’s one section that has sentences with a blank in them and you have to find a food word to fill in the gap. But the catch is the food word ends up as a bad pun. For instance the sentence “Is — the list of the top ten Italian cities” is completed by putting in the food word ‘venison’. So when you say it out loud it sounds like “Is Venice On (geddit) the list etc”. Nasty eh!
That’s what I’ve been going through for weeks now since she gave me the book. It is supposed to be good for your brain but it’s driving me mad.
I meancheck out these sentences and see if you can come up with food words that complete them. Just to put you out of your misery the answers are at the bottom of the page.
1) The witness saw the —-- up to the victim and stab him
2) The dog tried to —-- his bone
3) Her Grandparents always used to give up meat from —-- Easter Sunday
4) Even though Tom Hanks often acts like a —— Ryan always enjoys co-starring with him
5) If Rocky Balboa saw Alice B. Toklas’s significant other he’d probably yell “——--”