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Leave margins.

Posted Jan 28 2013 4:42am
Ive learned. She helped.

I learned. She helped.

Once upon a time, I was offered an AMAZING OPPORTUNITY .

I couldnt believe it. 

I was excited.

I looked at my stack of post-its fancy formalized mapped out schedule and deduced I could not say yes.

I was committed (kids stuff).  I was busy with deadlines (work stuff). I could not fit another thing in.

I remember sharing the above my husband and his responding:

You should never be so busy you’re incapable of adding another thing.  You need to build in space so if a cool opportunity arises you can say yes.

I knew he was right when he said it.

I made the opportunity work —but not without significant juggling.

I knew he was right when he said it—-yet for some reason his phrasing didnt spark an AH HA! moment.  

Flash forward a few years (ahhh MizFit. will you really be 6 next month?!) & I found myself in the same position:


Impending move
Stressed out child who needed more FOCUSED her-time with a PRESENT mama .
Work deadlines.


I was backed into a corner as the phrase goes.  I assumed this was simply how life was was meant to be.

I had lolloped along at an ok pace until we were forced to uproot and move life threw extra stuffs my way and I became immediately overwhelmed.

A wise, wise friend remarked to me:

You need to learn to leave margins.

I needed margins.

That was my AH HA! moment.

That was the phrasing which resonated with me as I already knew I tended to fill spaces.

Literally (we’ve chatted about my clutter problem ) and metaphorically (it took an entire masters program with a counseling base for me to learn to SIT WITH SILENCE).

MARGINS, as a writer , was phrasing I understood.

It immediately brought to mind how, as a child, Id write stories on unlined paper and have nary a white spec left by the end.

My friend was right. 

  • I needed to leave virtual margins in my life. 
  • I needed a SPACE between my load and my life. 
  • My life demanded a GAP between my load and my breaking point.

My husband had said essentially the same thing years prior, but as with so much in life, I needed wording which clicked with me to FINALLY get it.

And get it I did.

Since we’ve touched down in Oakland Ive committed to looking forward /not obsessively checking my rear view mirror.

Im also committing to living life INSIDE THE LINES (admittedly a bizarre notion for me).

Im drawing margins in Sharpie ( just like my boundaries ) & building myself a cushion between living and overload.

Im treating my life PRECISELY like I view fitness (what took me so long?!):

Im doing LESS than I am capable of each day so I can greet the *next* 24 hours with joy, excitement, ability and SPACE to do more.

And you?

  • Am I the last to grasp the notion of life needing margins?
  • How do you maintain SPACE or MARGINS in your life?



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