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Embracefire's FAQ (Part 2: Personal)

Posted May 17 2010 11:17pm

Another round of potentially sarcastic information! This round: About me!

Q: Why don’t you sleep? Have you tried–?
A: Let me stop you right there. I have been an insomniac for 15 years. Do you really want to insult my intelligence by suggesting obvious treatments that I could have possibly been stupid enough to overlook in that time?

Q: What is it like up in Canada?
A: I don’t live in an igloo, snow does not suddenly start at the border. Its much like northern states, with free health care and a lack of guns. In all reality, I love where I come from. Its a beautiful place of wonderful people.

Q: Are you single?

A: No, I am not. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years and plan for that to continue.

Q: Do you have YIM/AIM/MSN/Facebook? How can I contact you?

A: I do,(except for facebook) but I am not giving the contact information out. Please don’t ask, its not going to happen. You are more than welcome to contact me on BodySpace (as Embracefire) or send an email to bryannejensen(at)yahoo(dot)com. I do my best to check frequently and respond promptly.

Q: Can you take some special bikini pictures for me?
A: No. I model  for professional photographers only.

Q: HI THERE HOW ARE YOU? WHAT SORT OF PROGRAM DO YOU DO?
A: Hi! Let me introduce you to my friend, the caps lock button. Its right next to your A key. Can you find it?

Q: Which Martial Arts did you study in?
A: I was in Sun Hang Do for about 8 years to get my black belt. I no longer train.

Q: Can we be friends?
A: Absolutely! I love chatting with people on here, and making connections. However, if you want to be my friend, I do expect the same level of courtesy and respect as any of your other friends. As long as you don’t act like a creep, we should be fine.

Q: How do you say your name?
A: It is not ‘Brian’, or “Br-eye’. My name is pronounced “BREE-anne”, and I prefer to go by “BREE” (like the cheese, or the desperate housewife .)

Q: I notice a lot of piercings. How many do you have?
A: Currently I have 17 piercings, and very likely 18 in the near future. I have 6 lobes, 3 helixes, a forward helix, an Industrial (2), 2 tragus, my navel and nipples.(No you cannot see them). If you don’t understand half of that, most are shown on this lovely diagra m , and while we are on the subject, I have 2 tattoos as well. They are both visible in some of my pictures.

Q: Hi…how r u…plztobe my frnd…I like 2cht w/u.
A: What? Okay, this time I understand it, because I wrote it, but if you are going to write in choppy leet speak and abuse the ellipses (…) then I am most likely not going to respond. If English isn’t your first language, thats okay! I just expect proper words.

Q: What are you studying?
A: History! I love history, and eventually want to be a history professor here in BC. In broad terms, I am interested in anything from Antiquity to Enlightenment, but I plan on focusing on the Renaissance, particularly Italy. I am gearing to be a specialist in supernatural myth and superstition.

Q: You’re so cute!
A: I understand this is meant as a compliment, but I do not take it as one. Please do not call me cute. I am a 20 year old woman, and though I may be 5′2, I do not on any level appreciate being flattered with the same word you would use on a child. Think about it.

Q: So my ex said this and I wonder, does size matter? Do girls masturbate? Do they fantasize about threesomes?
A: Stop. I really don’t care what your ex girlfriend said, and I really don’t care what sort of perverted questions you have. If you do not know me well, (IE- In person) then find someone else to ask. I am an open person, yes, but have some courtesy.

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