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Ask Lance: Get Approached At The Gym?

Posted Aug 12 2009 10:32pm


P. K., 29, Maryland


So Lance, there's this guy that keeps smiling at me at the gym. He's hot and I want to talk to him, but he hasn't come up me yet! 

He stares at me all the time - but will only smile. He'll get on the treadmill behind me, work out on a machine next to me, but hasn't gotten the nerve to say anything. He just smiles. What the hell?! 

And this has been going on for like 6 months now! What should I do to get this guy to FINALLY talk to me?


Thanks for the email, P.K. 

Let's hook you up, girl! 

The same situation has happened to a bunch of my female clients...

Males are taught three basic things as they grow up: 

1) We must love football and beer, in any order

2) We must lift the toilet seat when going to the bathroom 

3) We must approach a female that makes eye contact and smiles twice at us.

Sounds like you have been waving this 'smiler' in like an airplane for long enough! 

Will he ever make it to the Gate???

No, if you wait for him.

He knows your interested. 

The guy is supposed to take the first step, but if you are really into him you may need to make the move or at least set him up for taking and getting...action.

You know, take this hunk to water, but he'll have to drink. 

Here are some ideas you can try:

Break The Silence - Say 'Hi' as you walk by smiling and making eye contact. Then the next time you walk by ask him how his workout is going. 

Play To His Ego - Ask him how to use a machine or for an exercise for your arms

Comment On Something In The Gym - Ask him about the trainer he talks to, if he has ever tried the spin class, or why there is a dude wearing spandex shorts in the weight room. 

It's also important to consider why he might NOT be approaching you:

There's Someone Else - he might have a girlfriend already and is just innocently flirting 

He's Shy - the gym is a public environment, he might not want to put himself in a vulnerable position with a lot of people around

He's Not That Into You - As the book and movie goes...a guy will make it happen if he wants you

Best of luck P.K. I want the front table at your wedding...

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