When things happen sometimes, you have to stop for a moment to wonder whether what you are experiencing is real or not.
I had stepped out of the shower, tired from staying up too late, and shivering from the transition from hot water to cold air. As I towelled myself dry, I blinked and in the moments where my eyes were closed – a dark, cartoon-like face jumped at me, teeth bared, and intent on frightening the life out of me.
It wasn’t real: it was a rare occurrence linked to the epilepsy. It wasn’t the first time faces and images like these have appeared. I have mentioned it to my neurologist before and although she had never heard of it she reckoned it could be epileptic in nature due to them normally occurring when I am tired.
This particular day however was the worst they have ever been. Every time I closed my eyes whether in thought or from blinking, faces would jump out at me. At one point I almost fell over as they kept appearing – and it is incredibly difficult to stop yourself from blinking, especially when you tell yourself not to. It’s hard for people who haven’t experienced this to imagine what I’m talking about – and as much as I call myself an aspiring writer, it’s difficult to describe them adequately.
However The Mother found an article in an epilepsy newsletter something which sounded very like what I was experiencing. Unfortunately I don’t have the newsletter with me at the moment, but it was something along the lines of “severe hallucinations of animals or people, receding or approaching, possibly linked to photosensitivity”. It was reassuring to read that at least I’m not making it up.
Has anyone else ever experienced something similar?