We will meet with the neurosurgeon, Dr. Yoshor, to discuss Austin's (potential) frontal lobectomy.
So far I'm relieved to say that I'm still relatively calm about everything. Why get too worked up until I hear what he has to say? That's what I've been telling myself...repeatedly.
It feels as if I'll be walking into this appointment with a blindfold on. Unprepared and under informed. I did my own research on this guy, and I'm comfortable with that part so far. I have not done much research on the proposed surgical procedure though. I decided to abandon the whole "internet medical degree" and go in with a fresh mind that's clear of previously read research studies and other parents' accounts. Why not be as prepared as possible? First, I couldn't find much on anything similar to Austin's case as a viable comparison. And second, because I didn't want any other studies to skew my thinking and understanding of what I'll be learning tomorrow.
This is not (at all) to say I don't have tons of questions ready to fire. And already gained knowledge from my two years of researching and following epilepsy surgeries. I just didn't think it was necessarily a good idea for me to go in with the assumption that I already know all about frontal lobectomies, or how it will affect Austin.
It could very well be just a coping mechanism rather than a game plan, but regardless, that's how it's gonna go. By coping mechanism I mean my way of not overwhelming myself before I hear it from the doctor himself. And not drawing my own conclusions and so on. One of my personality flaws is that I tend to over analyze everything. When I do that, I start to make my own assumptions and then the worry sets in.
Anyway, because I haven't spent every spare moment on googling frontal lobectomies, I am actually in a fairly peaceful state of mind. We'll just go in there and see what he says and decide from there. That's my plan. No second opinions until I speak to him, no freaking out over articles I've read that may or may not have a drop of relevance, and no false hopes.
I'll definitely update at some point tomorrow or Wednesday.