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Depressed

Posted Feb 18 2009 6:03pm
Well, my Neutrophils have been holding at 100 since yesterday. All my other counts have increased dramatically, which is good and shows a trend. If my neutrophils get to 300 tomorrow, I can go home. I'm hoping, and praying and dancing and doing everything I can to get them to go up. And I really, really miss being home. It's tough to be in the hospital when you feel good and the only thing keeping you here is a stupid number on a stupid paper. I'm beginning to hate to young resident who gives me the numbers each morning. As if it's his fault.

Brett is here with me and is trying to cheer me up. If I can't go home with him tomorrow, he'll be driving back to Orange County for baseball practice, then back up to stay Thursday night. I'm not sure I'll be able to stand another day and night here. I'm really tempted to discharge against medical orders.

So, that's how I'm doing. Not so good and not as positive as usual. Please keep the prayers, positive thoughts and dances coming. I really need it!

Thanks!
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