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Without Lost, I’m Lost

Posted Aug 07 2012 6:12pm

I get attached to things way too easily.

I’m needy and clingy, often to the point where I am unable to care for myself because I am too co-dependent or scared to do anything by myself. I was too attached to my mother, too attached to my husband, too attached to my eating disorder and subsequent recovery. Regardless of where I was in life, I needed a life preserver in order to keep me afloat because I just couldn’t make it on my own.

And when I’m not actively involved in my eating disorder, I’m actively involved in some other mindless activity, mainly games on Facebook or one of the many shows I have recorded on my DVR.

I become so attached to these forms of media that the very thought of them ending causes me to feel naked.

I have a legitimate fear of Stephen King dying because I feel like a part of me will also die if there are no new Stephen King books to read. I have an intense fondness for all of his books and feel real love for some of the characters he has invented. And although his books and characters will live on even when King is dead and buried, I feel my zest for reading will disappear once he’s gone for good.

I am dreading the final season of Supernatural for that very reason. I’ve already experienced a sense of loss over One Tree Hill ending.

I’ve been introduced and become absolutely enamored with the show Lost, and although I am only in season 2, I know seasons 3-6 will breeze by and I know apart of me will feel sad when I finish them.

I develop feelings for book and television characters often to the point where I become obsessive. I become incredibly nostalgic to anything media related from my childhood.

And I’ve always been this way.

Anything and everything to keep my mind up in the clouds. The very thought of any of these alternate realities ending terrifies me.

It sounds like such a self-absorbed thing to worry about. It’s a first world problem if there ever was one, am I right?

But at the same time, these are the little things that comfort me. And without them, I really do feel afraid.

And fear is really the basis of all our negative emotions, in my opinion.


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