Nearly halfway through the week and hasn’t it gone better since you started waking up with a more positive attitude?!
I know I am trying to start my day thinking, “AWESOME, school is going to fly by and the weekend will be here before I know it!”
Although this doesn’t always work, I truly believe the “fake it ‘till you make it” philosophy is one hundred percent spot on.
Speaking of which…
I expressed yesterday the mental difficulty that comes with actually nourishing my body appropriately for my situation; i.e. pretty much eating constantly and craving things like you a pregnant woman in her third trimester.
Anyway, Monday night was especially challenging because my mom came home and her presence is just downright stressful.
I am nervous for days before she arrives because I feel like I am constantly letting her down; the house isn’t clean enough, the pool pump broke, my body hasn’t changed enough for her liking, I am not making enough money, etc.
Overall I just feel like I am a complete failure and it is not necessarily because things she says, but because that’s just how I am.
I can take a simple statement she makes and turn it into something that completely puts me down as a daughter.
After three days of consistently doing the “right” thing in recovery, a conversation with my mom made me horrifically emotional and I just didn’t see a point in being persistent anymore because it wasn’t going to matter anyway…
In my head my efforts are never good enough so why even try.
Well then I woke up Tuesday and remembered my previous entry on PTG and all the reasons I truly need to rid myself and my family of such a tormented life.
Obviously LIVING is a great incentive because with enough bodily destruction from restriction and over-exercise, a person can easily die.
Sad, blunt, but true.
And if I want to go with the “fake it till you make it” avenue, giving into your body’s desires CAN be fun.
I would say one percent of the time I am ok with letting my body eat 6-7 times a day, and what it wants.
That one percent is usually the time when I am thinking to myself, “oh my gosh this tastes so good….it feels amazing not to be hungry….”
That may seem like a very small amount of time BUT I think it can increase.
I think a person CAN make food fun, and that is my goal of this week, and the purpose of this WIAW.
Let me explain a little further.
At first I was really mad at myself because my body is still telling me it wants Popchips,Vita Tops , Clif Mojo Bars , Gnu Bars, and other random packaged foods that are deliciously fabulous and not bad nutritionally by any means, BUT I know my body also needs other nutrients to repair and function optimally.
I kept thinking, “CJ you disgusting glutton, all you want is processed items when you should really be eating fruits, vegetables, nuts, lean protein and whole grains! You aren’t eating cleanly, you are GROSS!”
The above statement is FALSE and completely ridiculous; especially since I really do WANT a life of balance, and admittedly LOVE my stinkin’ Popchips!
A few months ago I was trying to associate positive memories with food, and again, I am going to take that approach.
I am going to APPRECIATE my meals and snacks, remember that my body just wants FOOD of any kind right now, savor the flavor and embrace the fact that I have some work to do to become physically healthy.
If that means I want three Vita Tops in one sitting, so be it.
And since I am trying to make friends with my food (that sounds kind of weird but you get the point) I was THRILLED to re-stock on some items that you have definitely seen on here before, but there are also a few that are new finds (or new to my taste buds) that absolutely made my week.
Healthy Choice Frozen Greek Yogurt
I saw this at the store and couldn’t help but grab it!
Right beside the display was a coupon since the product was new and honestly, although I do REALLY try to stick to a list and a tight budget, I might have gotten this anyway because it looked perfectly refreshing.
Just so you know, it is.
AWESOME paired with a slightly warmed Vita Top or Gnu Bar because it melts overtop like an ice cream sundae.
Please try it with the Gnu Chocolate Brownie, or pretty much any flavor Vita.
I could seriously eat this dessert right now and it’s not even breakfast. YUM!
Chobani Lemon and Vanilla 0% Greek Yogurt
Aside from picking up a sleeve of the delicious Healthy Choice variety, I was also very very excited to see my beloved Chobani on sale for $1 a piece.
Not quite the .88 deal of a few weeks ago, but anytime Cho is on special, regardless of how many little containers are already in my fridge, I stock up.
Why? Because it is fantastically tasty and I go through 3-4 A DAY.
Normally I stick with the plain, but lately I have been all about freezing the fruit flavors and enjoying them slightly thawed like a more soft-servy treat.
Typically I have Apple Cinnamon, Blood Orange, Black Cherry, Strawberry and Blueberry on hand, but I was standing there making my selections thinking, “why on earth have I not tried the Vanilla or Lemon?”
Good question! Especially since a lot of my favorite bloggers rave about Lemon combined with the fresh blueberries from the market that are SO juicy right now.
I went to grab a bag of these little babies the other day and for some reason my stock had dwindled.
My husband, who has claimed that these are “nothing like chips,” for the past few years, decided he was fening for salt SO badly one day that a bag of my “imposters” would have to suffice.
Guess who liked the Popchips…
Fortunately I had some Stacy’s Pita Chips on hand when I needed them for my lunch the next day, which are super awesome, as well, but I suppose the Popchip purchasing might be increased if I have a partner in the craze.
Now that I have tried all the flavors, I really can’t pick ONE I like the best. The Chocolate Brownie is fabulous for satisfying when that craving hits, but the Blondie, Banana Walnut, Carrot Cake and Cinnamon Raisin just remind me of freshly baked goods and home.
Check it out, because I know my stash is already gone and I am in need of a little shopping!
Sweet Potatoes and Ketchup
This sounds weird but this is one of my all-time favorite snacks.
Bake a sweet potato in the oven (if you cut it in rounds wait until they are crisp or just bake it whole for a little softer consistency) throw on a little chili power and salt, and dip away.
Ketchup is pretty much my favorite condiment in the world.
I switched to buying the low sugar because I could probably eat a bottle myself, but sometimes you just need a good ketchup fix.
I swear I eat eggs 9 times out of 10 just for a conduit to my beloved lycopene-filled spread.
I hope you all are enjoying your week’s menus as much as I am. It is SO much easier to eat larger “more uncomfortable” quantities when you make peace with your body and love what you are putting in your mouth.
Although I am still pretty scared of the out of control feelings that come with weight restoration, incessant hunger and increased portions, I also know this is what I NEED to achieve all of what I want in life.
If that means fro-yo every night, I am becoming much more ok with that