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Where do you turn to find trust when ED proves untrustworthy yet again?

Posted Nov 20 2012 9:59am

Courage is fear that has said its prayers. As one door closes, another bigger and better door opens even wider and beckons me to enter. One season always gives way to another—I can trust in the ebb and flow of nature what I am only now learning to trust in myself. -Quote from Beating Ana

I trusted ED for a long, long time.

He was lying to me the whole time, but I didn’t know that. So I placed my trust in ED wholeheartedly, believing all those years that what ED was telling me was the truth.

ED has lying on his conscience. I – you – do not.

There is nothing to be ashamed of in believing a liar. We all do it from time to time. But you will start to feeling ashamed – just as I did – once you KNOW that ED is lying and you continue to pressure yourself to believe him.

You may try to continue believing ED because it seems easier. There is less mess, less fuss, less anger from ED, less conflict.

But there is so much MORE anger and conflict within you that after awhile, it just isn’t worth it anymore. This is because you have finally realized that YOU are a truth-teller, and you value truth over lies. So you will become angry at yourself for continuing to try to believe ED’s lies over your own truth.

This is WONDERFUL. This is a sign of such PROGRESS in recovery.

So when you start to feel that inner conflict, that inner pressure, don’t run and cower and hide in fear, thinking that ED will win. Understand that that inner pressure and conflict is your own courage, gathering steam, mustering all of your own resources for the total break into independence that is brewing up ahead.

It is a wonderful day when you realize that all ED has is lies – while you have the golden immeasurable treasure of truth on your side.

How can you bolster your courage and encourage yourself to hold your ground when that inner pressure builds? How will you remind yourself that this pressure is a sign that you are winning independence from ED so you can remember to hold fast through the conflict and break free from ED for good?

xo

Shannon

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